EATEN in consecutive weeks by their own ‘nursery club’, Chelsea’s season is threatening to implode.
In the early part of Todd Boehly’s Stamford Bridge reign, the American signed off almost a quarter of a billion pounds on recruiting members of Brighton and Hove Albion’s staff.
Kaoru Mitoma scored a spectacular goal as Brighton beat Chelsea[/caption]
Todd Boehly has spent a fortune on recruiting players at Chelsea[/caption]
From the British-record signing of Moises Caicedo to the poaching of Graham Potter and his entire backroom team.
From the eye-watering £62million fee agreed for full-back Marc Cucurella to the unconvincing goalkeeper Robert Sanchez to sporting director Paul Winstanley, there seemed an obsession with all things Brighton.
So it seemed particularly galling that after all that headhunting, Chelsea should be knocked out of the FA Cup, then handed their heaviest defeat of the Premier League season by the club they had supposedly gutted.
Throw in Enzo Maresca’s spat with Brighton’s spiky German child-boss Fabian Hurzeler and those two trips to good old Sussex by the sea have sent Chelsea’s campaign into a tailspin.
Now Chelsea are after Brighton’s Japanese winger Kaoru Mitoma, who scored my goal of the season against them in Friday’s 3-0 drubbing at the Amex.
Mitoma, who famously wrote a university thesis on the art of dribbling, must have been indulging in more footballing intellectualism before he scored it.
A practical exam question: “Imagine what sort of goal Dimitar Berbatov could have scored if he’d been blessed with pace.”
Well that was it. And Chelsea only have seven senior wingers either in the building, out on loan or, in the case of £62m Mykhailo Mudryk, idling having failed a drug test.
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Maybe they need another one. Or two. Yankuba Minteh of Brighton looks pretty good.
Maresca, a curious appointment to replace Mauricio Pochettino in the summer, diminished his standing with Blues fans by claiming the Cup defeat would allow his team to concentrate on the league and the Conference League.
Some of us can remember Jose Mourinho mocking old sparring partner Rafa Benitez for winning the Europa League while Chelsea’s interim boss.
Mourinho claimed the club should never have been in Uefa’s second-tier competition.
What the old Special One would think of a Stamford Bridge boss concentrating on the third-class Conference League — in which Chelsea have so far, from memory, beaten Noah and the Whale, Mumford and Sons and Camper Van Beethoven — is anyone’s guess.
Who do Chelsea think they are? West Ham or something?
The back-to-back defeats are part of an 11-match run during which Chelsea have beaten only Morecambe, Wolves and, fortuitously, Potter’s Hammers.
During this time they have increasingly resembled a bunch of talented youngsters in dire need of guidance from some grown-ups.
Boehly’s Chelsea project is based on the ‘genius’ idea of signing up dozens of young prospects on vastly lengthy contracts. And so this was always likely to happen.
Alan Hansen was lampooned for insisting “You can’t win anything with kids,” when Manchester United’s Class of ’92 began to emerge at the start of the 1995-96 campaign — a season when Sir Alex Ferguson’s side went on to win the Double.
But that United squad included seasoned campaigners such as Eric Cantona, Peter Schmeichel, Steve Bruce, Gary Pallister, Denis Irwin and Brian McClair
Chelsea do not have a single outfield player over 30.
Even the outstanding 22-year-old Cole Palmer is showing the strain of having carried Chelsea for 18 months.
In April, Palmer missed a visit to Arsenal and Pochettino urged his players to prove ‘they are not Cole Palmer FC’. Chelsea lost 5-0.
Maresca correctly claimed his side were not ready for a title challenge when things looked rosy earlier in the season.
Yet he now faces the prospect of failing to qualify for the Champions League.
Fifth should be good enough. Chelsea are sixth and shot of confidence.
Is Maresca under threat? Maybe but what good would a sixth manager in 2½ seasons be when Boehly’s entire project looks so flawed.
Not even Brighton try to win solely with kids.
AN EFFIN’ BIG DEAL
Jude Bellingham was sent off in Real Madrid’s draw with Osasuna[/caption]
AS THE only manager to have won the title in all five major European leagues, Carlo Ancelotti can swear proficiently in five different languages.
So when Jude Bellingham was sent off for using foul and abusive language at a referee during Real Madrid’s 1-1 draw with Osasuna on Saturday, Ancelotti, 65, played the cunning linguist card.
The Real boss claimed: “I think the referee did not understand Jude Bellingham’s English. He said ‘f*** off’, not ‘f*** you’ . . . that’s way different.”
This opens up an entire can of foul-mouthed worms.
Firstly, is ‘f*** you’ really significantly stronger than ‘f*** off’?
Given that ‘f***’ is the most versatile word in the English language, should Spanish referees really be expected to understand the nuances of its myriad uses?
Are Premier League refs trained to understand the usage of foreign swear words so as to weigh up whether any specific instance merits a red card?
And if not, does this give overseas players an advantage over native English speakers in our top flight?
Or maybe Bellingham should simply stop swearing at officials all the time.
MIGHTY MOUSH
Omar Marmoush netted a stunning hat-trick against Newcastle[/caption]
MANCHESTER CITY clearly signed a couple of seriously good players in January.
So why didn’t boss Pep Guardiola have the nerve to start either Omar Marmoush or Nico Gonzalez in the first leg of City’s Champions League play-off against Real Madrid?
In Saturday afternoon’s 4-0 humping of Newcastle, Marmoush bagged a hat-trick, while midfield anchor-man Gonzalez was dubbed ‘mini-Rodri’ by his manager.
Guardiola reckons his side have just a one per cent chance of overturning a 3-2 deficit in the second leg at the Bernabeu tomorrow night.
But with those two in the team, City’s chances should be a whole lot better.
OLIVER’S TWIST
Oliver Glasner often wears a knitted jumper on the touchline[/caption]
MANAGERIAL touchline fashions have become fascinating in recent years.
From Roberto Mancini’s Man City scarf to Pep Guardiola’s roll-necks to Scott Parker’s entire wardrobe, fashionistas have often salivated.
Yet for me, a middle-aged man who spends a lot of winter evenings out in the cold watching football, there is a clear winner.
Which is why I hope that I’ll soon be able to choose from the Oliver Glasner Alpine Knitwear Collection at the Crystal Palace club shop.
START TO AD UP
Adama Traore impressed against Nottingham Forest[/caption]
SINCE Adama Traore arrived in England a decade ago, the Spaniard has had the potential to be the most fearsome winger in football.
Built like a bull but blessed with Speedy Gonzalez pace, there has been a tendency to watch Traore and say: “Imagine if he could cross a ball.”
Well, under Fulham’s hugely underrated boss Marco Silva, Traore has learned how to at the age of 29 — as exemplified in his man-of-the-match display against Nottingham Forest on Saturday.
The prospect for Premier League left-backs is terrifying.
HEADING SOUTH
Matt Le Tissier watched on as Southampton were beaten by Bournemouth[/caption]
WHILE Southampton’s death march towards relegation continued with a home loss to Bournemouth, cameras panned to their greatest Premier League player — the wild conspiracy theorist Matt Le Tissier.
“I wonder if he’s got his boots,” said the Match of the Day commentator.
“I wonder if he believes Southampton’s disastrous season is down to the malign influence of a shady international cartel run by an evil reptile overlord,” said me.
ITS A SIN
Jannik Sinner has accepted a three-month ban[/caption]
WORLD tennis No.1 Jannik Sinner has accepted a three-month ban for failing a doping test — conveniently scheduled so that the Italian misses precisely NO Grand Slam events.
That’ll teach him.
