DAWSON’S Creek actor James Van Der Beek has opened up on the “hardest” year of his life where he was forced to “look my own mortality in the eye” amid his cancer battle.
The TV star, 48, took to his Instagram page for a candid appraisal of the impact of his health situation as he turned 47.

Dawson’s Creek star James Van Der Beek said the past year has been ‘hardest of his life’ amid his stage three colon cancer diagnosis[/caption]
The Dawson Leery actor, 48, revealed his diagnosis last year[/caption]
James released a candid video from his Texas home telling how he looked his ‘mortality in the eye’[/caption]
In November, James told fans he had been living with colorectal cancer in an emotional statement – yet suggested there were reasons for “optimism.”
James, who played Dawson’s Creek protagonist Dawson Leery, received an outpouring of support from fans – and the same sweet response had been prompted with his latest upload.
The Connecticut-born actor uploaded a message from the Texas home he shares with wife Kimberley.
He wrote: “What I got from my 48th trip around the sun,” before adding the hashtags “#cancer #love #selflove.”
Uploading his video on March 6, James can be seen sat in front of the camera wearing a flat cap.
He tells the lens: “Today is my birthday – and it’s been the hardest year of my life.
“And I wanted to share something that I’ve learned with y’all.
“When I was younger, I used to define myself as an actor, which was never all that fulfilling, and then I became a husband and it was much better and then I became a father and that was the ultimate.”
Talking in front of a log burn fire he continued: “This year I had to look my own mortality in the eye.
“I had to come nose to nose with death. And all of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me.
“I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband who was helpful to my wife.
“I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them.
“I could not be a provider because I wasn’t working.”
The film star, who has starred in flicks Varsity Blues, Texas Rangers and more, continued to reflect on musing on his identity and reason for being.
He added: “I was faced with the question, ‘If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy, alone in an apartment with cancer, what am I?’”
Yet he insisted: “I am worthy of God’s love simply because I exist.
“And if I’m worthy of God’s love, shouldn’t I also be worthy of my own?
“As I move through this healing portal toward recovery, I wanted to share that with you because that revelation that came to me was in no small part to all the prayers and the love that had been directed toward me.”
James then clarified: “I certainly don’t claim to know what God is or explain God, my efforts to connect to God are an ongoing process that is a constant unfolding mystery to me.
“But, if it’s a trigger that feels too religious, you can take the word God out in your mind and it can simply be ‘I am worthy of love.’
“Because you are.”
His followers were quick to offer further support, including Pussycat Dolls singer Nicole Scherzinger.
She wrote: “GOD bless you. What a beautiful message. God is good. Never loose the Faith, you are an inspiration.”
A fan then put: “Happy birthday! You got this! I am a cancer survivor of 17 years! Keep on fighting.”
Another added: “The most important thing I have ever heard on social media. Thank you.”
HEALTH STATEMENT
James told fans that he had colorectal cancer last year.
He confirmed to People: “I have colorectal cancer.
“I’ve been privately dealing with this diagnosis and have been taking steps to resolve it, with the support of my incredible family.
“There’s reason for optimism, and I’m feeling good.”
James continued to work despite his diagnosis, appearing in a recent episode of Walker and a new film for Tubi called Sidelined: The QB And Me, released on November 29.
He is also prioritising time with his large family, having had six children with wife Kimberly.
James rose to fame in Dawson’s Creek, which ran for six seasons from 1998 until 2003.
The teen drama made household names of its stars, including Katie Holmes, Joshua Jackson, and Michelle Williams.
Since the show ended he has continued to appear in popular TV shows including Don’t Trust the B—- In Apartment 23, CSI: Cyber, and Pose.
He also took part in Dancing With The Stars in 2019, where he was partnered with Emma Slater and reached the semi-finals.

He told how being a father to his kids with Kimberly Brook was the ‘ultimate’[/caption]
The screen star talked about being ‘worthy of love’[/caption]
The TV and movie star previously said there were reasons for ‘optimism’ amid his health battle[/caption]