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AFTER being released from his club ten years ago, former footballer Clarke Carlisle lost a £100,000-a-year TV job and blew much of his life savings in one trip to a casino.

The same night as that loss, the ex-Premier League star, who was battling depression, went missing before jumping in front of a truck in an attempt to end his life.

Richard Walker

Ex-Premier League star Clarke Carlisle and wife Carrie[/caption]

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Clarke went missing in 2015 before jumping in front of a truck in an attempt to end his life[/caption]

PA:Empics Sport

Clarke in action for football club Burnley[/caption]

But today, the 45-year-old speaks of the joy of being alive — and explains that instead of turning to gambling in his dark days, he now seeks solace . . . by hiding behind the fridge.

Clarke and his wife Carrie work to help others facing suicidal thoughts, holding online talks and courses for people dealing with mental health issues.

The defender, whose clubs included Blackpool, Burnley and QPR, said: “I have been to the edge of existence.

“Now I can proudly say I’ve not had an episode of depression for years. I’ve not needed meds for three years. I am the most well I’ve ever been.”

Carrie added of one of his new coping mechanisms: “He literally goes and hides behind the fridge. He goes there and takes a little moment.

“I won’t even know he’s there, and I’ll open the fridge and the fridge light will go on and I’ll see the ears from his Batman onesie.”

Clarke, who has two children with Carrie and three from previous relationships, added: “I know when I start coming down and I need to withdraw. I would stand in the dark, on my own and in my own thoughts.

“So I would stand there when I needed to with-draw. The key part of it, it is also where the radiator is. When I do experience depression, I physically get cold. It’s about finding the way for you to deal with things.”

Clarke, who was chairman of the Professional Footballers’ Association and has also appeared as a contestant on TV game show Countdown, said: “I was a perfectionist as a footballer, critical of things that I would do.

“I was in an environment where it is about wins and losses. I tried to replicate that in normal life and in my relationships. My self-worth was governed by results and performances on this pitch.

“So if we won, I felt great. I was a good human and then that would give me positivity going into all my wider interactions, because in my head, that makes me a good dad, a good husband, a good son.

“If we lost, that meant I was a terrible human because other people were sad and I’d let them down, which made me a bad dad, a bad husband, a bad brother.

“Now I prioritise the things that matter. I meditate a lot, I pray, I prioritise family. I make sure I put the kids to bed at least once a week.

“I make sure that they can come into my bedroom and jump on me in the morning. And Carrie and I make sure we have monthly date nights.”

With the annual mental health awareness Time To Talk Day next Thursday, Clarke said he still finds exercise triggers pressures he felt in his playing days and gets PTSD around the anniversary of his suicide bid.

He is now calling for an independent body to oversee the mental health of all footballers in the UK.

‘Terrible human’

Ex-TV presenter Carrie, a former alcoholic, said starting the process of writing a series of self-help material, such as Shut Up, Alcohol, played a part in helping Clarke get better.

Clarke was released by Burnley in 2012 and in 2014 lost his £100,000-a- year ITV Champions League pundit role before that fateful trip to the casino. He then went missing before throwing himself in front of a lorry on the A64 Leeds to York dual carriageway.

Clarke was airlifted to Leeds General Infirmary. He suffered cuts, bruises, internal bleeding, a broken rib and a shattered left knee.

On Christmas Day 2014, he was admitted as an in-patient to a psychiatric unit in Harrogate and placed on suicide watch.

He remained there until he was discharged in February 2015, when, shortly after, he did an interview with The Sun.

Ten years on, Clarke said: “After that, I knew I was very unwell. In the lead-up to that, I was being very negative, hypercritical, insular.

“I’d never done anything about my depression, and I was clinically depressed.

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Clarke and Carrie getting married in 2016[/caption]

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Clarke revealing superman-style vest in game for QPR in 2002[/caption]

“I didn’t take medication for a myriad of reasons but predominantly because I thought, ‘I’m a man and a Premier League footballer’. I didn’t understand that my thoughts were different or dangerous.

“A lot of it was tied into self-worth. I do have an analytical mind. I was using alcohol so that my brain stopped thinking. I was using gambling so that my brain was thinking about something else.

“I’m really blessed I never got into drugs. If I had I would be dead now.

“Football was pretty much the only thing I thought gave me value. So when I left, I was totally bereft of anything that anyone else valued about me.

“I brought my football home, the perfectionism, the autistic portion, compulsive aspect, the need for everything to happen at this time, at this pace, immediate success or failure. There’s no middle ground.

I knew then he was an amazing, handsome man. And I know that even more to this day

Carrie

“And it’s a dynamic that is ingrained within you, and everything falls into these two categories.

“For the first year of my therapy, I had to discover this middle ground of things just being OK, being good enough.

“Because in football that had never been good enough, because it’s not the best, it’s not perfect. This transferred into relationships. It was so, so destructive. It was dangerous.”

In 2016, Clarke met Carrie, who worked as an ambassador at football anti-racism charity Kick It Out.

She said: “It was a whirlwind romance. We gave each other our business cards and I don’t think we ever thought we’d see each other again.

‘Dead by tomorrow’

“But he emailed and we went for dinner. Within five minutes of sitting down for dinner, he was like, ‘We are gonna get married, have babies’. On the second date he brought his psychiatric papers.

“We moved in together three weeks later. Then we got engaged a few months later. And then nine weeks after, we got married.

“I knew then he was an amazing, handsome man. And I know that even more to this day. I’m obsessed with him.”

The pair worked with each other to support their needs, Carrie with her anxiety and Clarke with his depression.

But in 2017, Clarke went missing again and was eventually found in Liverpool before being taken to a psychiatric facility in Blackburn.

Carrie said: “When Clarke was found, I wanted to bring him home. I was six months pregnant and I was like, ‘Let’s just go back to this place’, because up to 24 hours ago, I didn’t know anything was wrong.

“Luckily, someone took me aside and said, ‘OK, Mrs Carlisle, if you take him home, he’ll be dead by tomorrow’. And that was a slap in the face that I needed.”

Clarke then began counselling. He said: “I started to dig deeper and realised I needed to be well.

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Clarke on TV’s Countdown in 2010[/caption]

“I needed to be alive. I wanted to be here.”

Carrie asked him to read through some thoughts she had around her Shut Up, Alcohol method, which she developed in 2006.

Clarke said: “The incredible thing about my awesome wife is that she’s been able to put that into a clear and really quite simple process of self-progression and self-accountability, and it brings the power back when you’re talking about your mental health.

“You’re not waiting on the NHS to come and fix you.

“She asked me to read something she was writing about other issues and it helped me with my attitude to gambling.”

Using her Shut Up method, Carrie has written more than 20 books, as well as devising courses to accompany each one.

The pair offer online talks and courses for issues such as alcohol, gambling and suicidal thoughts.

Carrie said: “Most people don’t want to die.

“They just can’t live like this any more. We aim to guide them on their own journey out of it.

“We both see it as a great opportunity to pay our own lived experiences forward.”

I do miss certain moments of football

Clarke Carlisle

Clarke, who now has a degree in psychology, says he is in the best shape mentally he has been for years. He is “finally able” to enjoy watching football again.

But he said: “I can’t go and do a simple run without thinking, ‘Oh, you’re only cheating yourself. You can go faster than this’, or ‘You should have been in the Olympics next year’.”

“But I do miss certain moments of football — the first day of the season, a magnificent end of the season, a successful season.”

Last week, ex-Premier League referee David Coote said he would be prioritising his mental health after a series of scandals led to him being stripped of his job.

And Clarke now wants an independent advisory board for players and referees to help them deal with mental health.

He said: “It would great to see a new independent body. They need to stop acting in silos, whether it’s the individual organisations — EFL, Premier League, the WSL, the Championship, the PFA, the FA.

“They’re all individual things and giving cursory nods to each other’s activities.

“But there is no continuation of care. We need an external third party, an advisory board.

“But everyone, even if you are not in football, should be aware that there is help out there.

“I have a professional coach. I have the people who I trust. I prioritise the things that make me feel good and keep me well, irrespective of what’s going on.

“I am proof that you find a path. You just need to talk to the right people.”

•  Find out more about Clarke and Carrie’s work at clarkeandcarrie.com.

• Unlock even more award-winning articles as The Sun launches brand new membership programme – Sun Club.

MAURA Higgins flashed her sexy knickers in a sizzling new shoot after hitting London for a glam night out.

Love Island star Maura, 34, looked sensational as she posed in a pink Alo hoodie and matching socks, playfully lounging on a cream sofa.

@alo

Maura Higgins flashed her sexy knickers in a sizzling new shoot[/caption]

Adding a vintage touch, she accessorised with a retro camera while showcasing the brand in a series of Instagram snaps.

Sharing the shots with her followers, Maura captioned the post: “Sundays. @alo Ad.”

The star’s fans went wild in the comments section, with one gushing: “Omg neeeed this!!!!!!”

Another added: “So pretty in pink,” with a third saying: “Absolutely stunning.”

Maura’s comfy day in came after she joined some pals for a night out in Mayfair, where she wore a rather daring outfit.

The I’m A Celeb babe came dangerously close to a wardrobe malfunction as she showed off her killer tanned legs in a pair of teeny red leather shorts.

Stepping out of the hotel, Maura went braless as she wore a matching long-sleeve top to complete the look.

The influencer kept her hair slicked straight with tiny flicks at the end.

However, she became aware quickly that she may have gone a little too risky, laughing as she covered up her modesty with her hands and a giant clutch.

The star then had to fight against the elements as she led the group of girls to Cipriani restaurant, before they headed off to cocktail bar Dover Yard and then Mistress of Mayfair.

Maura was seen crossing the street as she guided her friends through London for the evening, but keeping a tight grip on her purse which she held close to her tummy.

The night out was in honour of celebrating her friend Leah Taylor’s birthday, with the stunning group making sure it was a night to remember.

Unlock even more award-winning articles as The Sun launches brand new membership programme – Sun Club.

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Maura looked sensational as she posed in a pink Alo hoodie and matching socks[/caption]

@alo

The Love Island star accessorised with a retro camera[/caption]

LOVE Island star Samira Mighty reveals that being on Love Island made it hard to launch her music career.

The 29-year-old gave us a glimpse into her music journey ahead of her new song’s release Valentine’s Day.

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Samira Mighty reveals that being on Love Island made it hard to launch her music career[/caption]

ITV

Samira appeared on the fourth season of Love Island in 2019[/caption]

The reality star opened up about the challenges of being taken seriously as an artist after rising to fame on the hit ITV2 dating show in 2018.

Samira was coupled up with Frankie Foster on the show before he was dumped and the reality beauty ended up quitting the villa altogether.

Speaking to The Sun, about her transition from reality TV to singing, Samira said: “ I think it’s been hard in the sense of it’s just a different industry and you have to now gain different fans from Love Island that are still there.

“But, you know I want to get different fans that know me just for my music.

“I will never forget the roots I came from, Love Island because the opportunity is insane but you know, it’d be nice for fans to come up and say, I love your new song which actually they do now.

“So that’s, it’s been great it’s been it’s been a good transition, I think.”

After her stint on the show she participated in The X Factor: Celebrity in 2019 as part of the group No Love Lost, alongside fellow Love Island alumni, Eyal Booker, Wes Nelson and Zara Mcdermott.

Mentored by Simon Cowell the group was eventually eliminated in week 3.

Speaking about her time on the show, she said: ” I think X Factor to me was like Love Island. it wasn’t really like a talent show.

“But it was interesting to see the taste of the music industry of what we could get and what we couldn’t.

Speaking on her former band mates, she added: “I speak to Eyal here and there and Wes, he’s so busy he’s doing his music as well.

“So I’d love to get in the studio with Wes actually one time.

“I think that would be a collaboration but you know, it was so long ago, I have to sometimes jog my memory that I did these shows.

After the show Samira continued her journey as a solo artist, releasing her debut EP last year, now she’s dropped her new single Valentines Day.

Samira revealed how she wrote her new track after being ghosted by a fitness influencer, she said: “So last year, around this time, I was dating somebody, if you know me, like that person just was not for me.

“We were dating quite intensely and we had la tiny blip, you know commitment issues, the usual thing of guys.

“Then he said to me, you know what, let’s sort this out “I miss you, let’s go for a walk next week” and from this day, he just disappeared.

“Ghosting is just a crazy thing but it was Valentine’s Day and yeah so I went to the studio and that’s where Valentine’s Day came from.”

Fans can listen to Samira’s new track Valentines Day (I Ain’t Got Time For That) here

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Samira revealed how she wrote her new track after being ghosted by a fitness influencer[/caption]

Rex Features

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Samira also participated in reality talent show The X Factor: Celebrity in 2019[/caption]

FORMER Wimbledon champion Simona Halep revealed “the thought of retiring crosses my mind very often” as she seriously considers hanging up her racquet.

Halep, 33, beat Serena Williams to reign supreme on the grass of the All England Club in 2019 – the year after winning her maiden Grand Slam at the French Open.

AP

Wimbledon 2019 champ Simona Halep is preparing to retire from tennis aged 33[/caption]

The ex-world No1 racked up 24 career titles and more than £32million in career prize money.

But her career has spiralled downwards rapidly in recent years due to injuries and a drugs ban.

The Romanian appeared to be handed a lifeline going into the 2025 season with a wildcard into the Australian Open.

But she had to withdraw before the tournament started due to knee and shoulder problems.

And it is the former that is giving her thoughts about packing in her pro tennis career for good.

Halep, now way down at No868 in the world rankings, told Golazo: “The knee injury I have is quite serious and difficult to recover from.

“I don’t know if I’m afraid to push myself, but when I feel pain, it’s hard to play at my highest level.

“It’s very difficult to get back to where I was, especially after such a long break.

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“The thought of retiring crosses my mind very often. I’ve reached an age where I have injuries that are hard to recover from.

“My knee won’t heal completely – I was advised to undergo surgery, but it’s a complicated procedure, and I don’t think I will go through with it.”

Halep made her name in 2014 with runs to the last eight of three Grand Slams – including the final at Roland Garros – and was a popular player among stars and fans alike.

After her crowning moments in Paris and Wimbledon, though, she returned a positive test for the banned substance roxadustat at the 2022 US Open before it emerged that there were abnormalities in her biological passport.

The doping news stunned the world of tennis and impacted her reputation for many while Williams took a cheeky dig.

She was initially suspended then slapped with a shock four-year ban – until October 2026 – but this was reduced on appeal to the Court of Arbitration for Sport to nine months in March 2024, freeing Halep to make her tennis comeback.

The Bucharest ace has played just five matches since her return, winning her only one in the first round of the WTA 125 Hong Kong Open in October.

Now she is figuring out what the future holds – while reflecting positively on her superb tennis career.

Halep added: “We’ll see what happens next. Life moves forward, and I’ll take things as they come.

“Tennis is not everything in life. I have many desires and goals beyond the sport.

“Everything I have done has been extraordinary… I may not have even dreamed of becoming world No1 and winning two Grand Slam titles.

“I worked hard for it, and I feel fulfilled as a tennis player.

“Now, I want to do something else, not just tennis. The first part of my life was all about tennis, now I want to explore other things.”

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THE King and Queen are set to spend their 20th wedding anniversary with an action-packed day of official work engagements in Italy, The Sun can reveal.

Charles, 76, and Camilla, 77, will forgo any idea of a romantic break as they are expected to be on a State Visit to Rome – often dubbed “The Eternal City”.

Bav Media

Bav Media

PA

The royal couple back on their wedding day in 2005[/caption]

The royal couple married at Windsor Guildhall on April 9, 2005 and held their reception at Windsor Castle.

Two decades on and the royal pair are still going strong but any loving celebrations are set to be put on hold this year.

Instead, they have lined up a string of engagements supporting issues close to their hearts while on an official State Visit – as the King continues his cancer treatment.

Full details on the State Visit to Italy have yet to be revealed but they are expected to visit Rome and have an audience with Pope Francis at Vatican City.

It comes after sources close to the King said following the successful trip to Australia and Samoa last year they will now resume a full programme of tours in 2025.

Charles, despite his cancer woes, is regarded as one of the hardest-working royals on the beat and can pack in up to eight engagements on a single day while on tour.

A source said the King and Queen would not let their milestone anniversary date get in the way of the tour planning.

And the packed itinerary means they will have no time to fit in a special event marking their china, or porcelain, anniversary.

They added: “It is expected that they will mark it privately, if at all.”

Another source said: “The trip falls on their 20th wedding anniversary but the King and Queen are well known and respected for their hard work and duty.

“I don’t think anyone would expect them to do anything else than carry out a full list of engagements.”

The King has been to Italy around 19 times including trips to Vatican City with Camilla meeting Pope Benedict XVI in 2009 and seeing Pope Francis in 2017.

Charles and Camilla, both divorcees, married at Windsor Guildhall rather than a church in 2005.

Their big day had to be delayed a week after the death of Pope John Paul II.

The royal couple spent their 19th wedding anniversary at their Balmoral retreat in the Scottish Highlands.

Three years earlier on their 16th anniversary, Charles’s father Prince Philip sadly passed away.

Italy will be the King and Queen’s third joint trip to a European neighbour since the crowning.

Their tours of France and Germany last year were hailed as diplomatic and trade successes.

After the trip to Berlin and Hamburg a government official said the visit formed a “rebooting” of relations and the State Visit smoothed talks on “foreign policy, trade, defence and cultural issues”.

The second foreign tour of 2025 has yet to be agreed.

Buckingham Palace had earmarked a trip for Charles and Camilla during the autumn of 2022 but had to cancel following the death of Queen Elizabeth II.

The Indian subcontinent, including Pakistan, Bangladesh and India, had been rumoured.

But Canada, which is a realm where the King is Head of State, has been ruled out for the royal couple in 2025 because it’s an election year.

Reuters

Charles, despite his cancer woes, is regarded as one of the hardest-working royals[/caption]

Bav Media

The State Visit comes as the King is continuing his cancer treatment[/caption]

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Sources say the King and Queen will now resume a full programme of tours in 2025[/caption]

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