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My mum has blessed my sister’s relationship with my ex despite them dating months after our split
DEAR DEIDRE: MY sister has started dating my ex just months after our relationship ended. I don’t want to go to my family home now because he might be there.
I don’t want to see him or speak to my sister either.
I am 25 and my current boyfriend agrees with me that my ex and younger sister have no class.
She is only 19 and my ex is 28.
I split up with my ex six months ago because he was always messing me about.
We were together for two years and I have since moved on. My ex is not a patch on my new boyfriend.
Maddeningly, nobody else in our family sees an issue with this. Even my mum has blessed their relationship and sees no issue with the age gap.
I am appalled that they can welcome my ex into their home as if nothing has happened.
The whole situation has made me feel ill at ease and I’m very unsettled by it.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I understand your concerns. Age-gap relationships can work but your sister is at a completely different life stage to your ex.
Also, while the law considers your sister an adult, the reality is she has a lot less life experience than your ex too.
My support pack Age Gaps – Do They Really Matter? explains more.
Unfortunately, there is little you can do if everyone else has accepted their relationship, except for focusing on your own life, which will give you less opportunity to be upset by this.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:
deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk
RTE Room to Improve viewers left ‘crying’ as Dermot and Julian Benson transform old home for Cystic Fibrosis families
RTE Room to Improve viewers were moved to tears tonight as an old home was transformed into something “amazing” for Cystic Fibrosis families.
Architect Dermot Bannon returned to screens for a special episode, designing four homes away from home for families of people with Cystic Fibrosis.
Dermot teamed up with former Dancing With The Stars judge Julian Benson and a team of volunteers to convert an old Victorian house into four self-contained pods for the families.
Tranquillity House is set to be a safe, warm, comfortable home from home, and that is priceless for people with Cystic Fibrosis and their families.
Ireland has the highest rate of CF per capita in the world, around 1,400 adults and children are living with the condition.
Julian was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis when he was two and his mother was told he probably wouldn’t live to become a teenager.
He has gone on to become a successful choreographer, TV personality and in 2018 founded the Julian Benson Foundation.
In 2022, the foundation purchased an abandoned Victorian redbrick in the south Dublin suburb of Rathgar.
As founder of JBF, it was Julian’s dream to build a space that could cater for people with Cystic Fibrosis and their families when they travelled to Dublin for treatment.
Patients can be in hospital for long periods of time, which is very difficult for both the patient and the families and Julian, throughout his life, has witnessed the low moments for patients while in hospital.
For families to visit and spend time with their loved one is expensive and stressful so Julian’s plan was to build a home away from home for the families – a “home with a hug”.
Dream team Dermot Bannon and Patricia Power QS were on board for this massive project tonight.
But the figure needed to complete this renovation was way beyond what Julian and the Foundation could afford.
The original plan and budget were “worlds apart” as the build needed a full upgrade and restoration in order to be lived in.
The initial budget they hoped for was €250,000 but it had to be raised to a whopping €1.6m.
And so began the journey of getting volunteers and companies to come on board, to donate time, people, materials and resources for this mammoth project.
At the helm of the project was builder Brandon Duarte, who was overseeing and coordinating the teams of builders, restorers, electricians, plumbers, cabinet makers, fire specialists, painters and many more construction experts from around the country.
Working alongside Brandon was CEO of the Julian Benson Foundation, Louise Doogan, who had to manage the two biggest personalities of the project, Dermot and Julian, as well as coordinating over 120 companies.
And amongst the team of workers was an endless amount of hard-working volunteers who gave their time to the build.
PASSION PROJECT
On tonight’s show, viewers met Lar Brennan and his family, who opened up about the stress and sadness they have experienced in the past when Lar has had to go off to stay in hospital and his family haven’t been close by for many months.
As the design process began to implode, they all knew that they had to work out their differences to complete this project on time.
The build was completely transformed into a whole new home, with multiple bedrooms, bathroom and dining areas.
However, the most important part of this story, is the people who will benefit from staying there.
Moved by the build’s result, RTE viewers flocked to social media to express their overwhelming emotion.
Deborah said: “I have goosebumps.”
Adam wrote: “Crying my eyes out at this – seeing everyone coming together like that would really give you some hope.”
Suzanne said: “In bits here. My new favourite Sunday night viewing. Well done all. A beautiful and meaningful project.”
A fourth viewer wrote: “What a good man! Crying already!”
Another added: “It looks amazing. Well done to all who helped out in bringing Julian’s dream to life.”
My husband went out on our anniversary leaving me alone with our baby
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband went out on our wedding anniversary leaving me at home with our baby daughter.
He came home steaming drunk then just went straight to bed.
I am 27 and my husband is 30. We have been together for five years.
Our longed-for daughter was born six months ago but it was a traumatic birth ending with emergency surgery and I took many weeks to recover. Even now I have the odd flashback.
I was also quite depressed but instead of supporting me, my husband was unsympathetic and even irritated with both me and our daughter.
If she woke in the night he would shout at me and tell me to stop her crying. I was so stressed.
My mum came to stay for a couple of weeks when I returned home from hospital but all my husband did was shout at her, accusing her of meddling.
My in-laws are no better. They criticise how I look after our daughter.
I don’t want her to come from a broken home like I did but our baby’s birth seems to have brought out the worst in us as a couple.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Looking after a newborn baby can be a stressful time and puts many relationships under pressure regardless of what they were like before. You have both been through a frightening time.
You are exhausted through sleep deprivation but rest assured this stage doesn’t last forever.
Critical grandparents who think they know best make things worse.
Your lives are changing but it’s important you talk it out. Both of you will recall the way you were parented, which can bring up painful feelings.
Tell your husband you love him and don’t want this stressful time to ruin your marriage.
Contact the Association For Postnatal Illness (apni.org, 0207 386 0868).
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:
deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk
Ange Postecoglou gives Tottenham fan death stare in tense tunnel confrontation after Leicester defeat
ANGE POSTECOGLOU dished out a death stare in another chilling exchange with a Tottenham fan.
The Aussie boss even walked BACK to the tunnel confrontation after Leicester inflicted Spurs’ sixth defeat in seven Premier League games.
Just last month Postecoglou was guided away from visiting fans following a grim clash of words after a 1-0 loss at Bournemouth.
And this time he faced a torrent of criticism from fans above the tunnel after Leicester clinched a 2-1 comeback victory at the King Power Stadium.
One supporter bawled out: “You’re taking us down.. we’re going down with you.”
Postecoglou initially continued his hasty walk into the changing rooms.
But astonishingly he backtracked and glared towards the fan.
However, a club official appeared to point him inside again.
And the 59-year-old heeded that advice as he strode out of view.
Supporters who saw the incident labelled Postecoglou an “embarrassment” for seeming to consider a heated encounter with the fan.
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One viewer posted: “Who does he think he is? We’re 15th in the league. Walk in those changing rooms before you get battered.”
Another said: “This is a recurring issue with him, it seems to be every game he squares up to fans who are rightly frustrated.”
And a third wrote: “The guy’s just lost his 13th league game of the season against a crap team at home and steps back as if he’s gonna do something…what an embarrassment!”
Postecoglou said of Saturday’s defeat: “It hurts a lot.
“The players gave everything again. We are going to look at a lot of things, but in terms of effort I can’t ask anymore of this group, things just didn’t go our way today.”
And he insisted: “I know it will turn. We’ll get some players back, we were short again today but in the next couple of weeks there’s some really important players coming back that I know will help this group.”