8 hours agoBlogsComments Off on Homebase is selling premium outdoor lanterns which don’t require plugs for under £30 – they’re perfect for summer nights
AS summer evenings stretch out before us, there’s nothing quite like enjoying a balmy night in your garden or on your patio.
LNPHomebase is currently selling garden lighting for cheap[/caption]
tiktok/@homebaseukThey shared a video on their TikTok account showing off their latest collection[/caption]
Forget fiddly wires and the need for outdoor sockets, because Homebase has just unveiled a range of premium outdoor lanterns that are both stylish and incredibly convenient – for under £30.
The buzz began with a recent TikTok video from @homebaseuk, showcasing these elegant additions to any outdoor space.
Crafted from durable black metal with a sleek square design, these lanterns exude a sophisticated, contemporary feel that will instantly elevate your home’s exterior.
Whether you’re looking to illuminate your doorway, create a welcoming glow on your porch, or add a touch of ambiance to your garden wall, these lanterns are perfectly suited.
What truly sets them apart is their hassle-free nature.
They don’t require any plugs, making installation a breeze and offering ultimate flexibility in placement.
Plus, with an IP23 rating, you can rest assured they are protected from the elements, ensuring they’ll stand up to whatever the British summer throws at them.
For those dreaming of enchanting summer nights filled with laughter and al fresco dining, these Homebase lanterns are an absolute game-changer.
At under £27, they offer a touch of luxury and practicality that’s hard to beat.
Perfect for adding a touch of whimsy and wonder to your outdoor space, this isn’t just any garden ornament.
This eye-catching bird bath features a delightful stained glass-style design, adorned with vibrant flowers and delicate butterflies.
It promises to become a captivating focal point, drawing the eye and adding a splash of colour to your green oasis.
HomebaseThe garden store has a solar panel light that attaches to the wall[/caption]
HomebaseIt is currently on sale for £27[/caption]
As described on the Home Bargains website, it will “Transform your garden into a wildlife haven.”
The bird bath invites local birds to “drink and bathe,” offering a much-needed spot for them to cool off and rehydrate, especially as the warmer weather arrives.
Crafted with care, the bird bath is hand-painted and frost-resistant, ensuring it can withstand the elements and remain a charming feature year-round.
Measuring a generous 21x40cm, it provides ample space for a variety of birds to enjoy a refreshing dip.
July gardening jobs
The Sun's Gardening Editor Veronica Lorraine, has shared the tasks you need to tackle this July in your garden.
1. Prune Wisteria
You should only prune back Wisteria twice a year – and July – or mid summer – is one of those times. After flowering cut back long side shoots to around seven buds.five or six leaves.
2. Pinch out tomatoes
Your tomatoes should be really picking up – so pinch out all the side shoots without flowers – and remove all the leaves that are shading the tomatoes – this will give them maximum light and energy.
3. Keep weeding
Hand weeding and hoeing the surface of the soil will keep your weeds under check.
4. Feed Dahlias
To keep Dahlias flowering until Autumn, you must keep feeding them weekly with a liquid fertliser high in potassium – which encourages blooms.
5. Keep deadheading plants
Keep up with deadheading your bedding plants and perennials – so they keep coming back for the season. With roses make sure you’re deadheading back to a set of five leaves, giving you the best chance of them flowering again.
6. Check on your pond
If you’re lucky enough to have a pond – make sure it’s clear of algae, which can really bloom when the sun beats down.
7. Feed your lawn
Whether that’s with a liquid feed or granules. If you’ve chosen granules try to get them down before the rain comes, so they soak into the soil.
8. Tend to strawberry plants
Cut the leaves off strawberry plants after you’ve picked them – leaving the crown untouched – which should help with next years fruit.
9. Sow extra seeds
July weather is a great time to sow seeds as the warm soil and sunshine is great for germination. Try carrots, winter broccoli and other brassicas.
10. Move young plants into soil
Get any young plants you’ve got left in the greenhouse – like courgettes – into the soil.
8 hours agoBlogsComments Off on Tyson Fury’s staggering 9-figure fortune revealed as Gypsy King, 36, banks £195k PER DAY
BOXER Tyson Fury has made £186million, from the sport, accounts show.
The Gypsy King turned over a heavyweight profit last year, with his main business banking £71million — £195,000 per day.
ReutersTyson Fury has made £186million from boxing accounts show[/caption]
The former champ, 36, who has said he wants to make “as much money as I can until the wheels fall off”, recorded a huge turnover at his company Tyson Fury Ltd.
The business handles boxing and sponsorship earnings and was worth £186.1million last September.
But Fury only paid himself £100,000.
The year before he paid himself £150,000.
The new accounts show Fury’s firm had funds of £162million after settling bills.
8 hours agoBlogsComments Off on Man and woman, 80s, found dead at home in rural Cork village as Gardai probe couple’s deaths
THE bodies of an elderly couple were found today in their home in Co Cork.
It’s understood the pensioners were found together at the bottom of the stairs in their home in Glounthane, a village a few kilometres on the eastern side of Cork city.
It’s not known how long they may have been dead, but according to sources they were both highly regarded and respected in their local community.
The bodies of the man and woman, who were aged in their 80s, are believed to have been found together, as if they had fallen down the stairs at the same time.
The house has been sealed off by Gardai who are carrying out a full investigation.
However at this stage sources say there was no sign of a forced entry into the house nor any evidence of foul play.
The local coroner has been notified and the bodies have been taken to Cork University Hospital where a postmortem examination is expected on the bodies on Tuesday.
Gardai say the results of the postmortems will determine the course of their investigations.
However they are saying it is likely the deaths occurred as a result of a tragic accident.
Gardai told The Irish Sun that the scene is preserved for technical examination.
In a statement, a garda spokesperson said: “Gardaí in Mayfield were alerted to an incident this evening, Monday 30th June 2025, at a residence at Glounthaune, Co. Cork.
“Gardaí attended the scene and two bodies were located in the house (one man and one woman aged in their 80’s, both deceased).
“The scene is preserved for technical examination.
“No further information is available at this time.”
Garrett WhiteThe bodies of an elderly couple were found today in their home in Co Cork[/caption]
8 hours agoBlogsComments Off on Lionel Messi could finally play in Premier League at 38 as Inter Miami ace ‘considers loan transfer ahead of World Cup’
Getty
LIONEL MESSI’S World Cup dream might finally send him into the Premier League – aged 38.
The legend is tipped to consider a loan switch to a more competitive league ahead of Argentina’s WC title defence next summer.
GettyLionel Messi will ponder a short-term return to European football[/caption]
GettyThe Argentine ace saw his Miami side outclassed by his old club PSG[/caption]
Inter Miami are keen to extend Messi’s two-year contract beyond 2025.
But even if he does sign a new deal, the eight-time Ballon d’Or winner could also squeeze in a temporary stint with a top-flight European club.
Reports in the icon’s home country claim Messi wants regular high-level games before the 2026 World Cup in America.
It means the ex-Barcelona attacker could move for several months.
David Beckham’s Miami stunned observers by reaching the Club World Cup in the USA.
But ex-Manchester City manager Mark Hughes claimed Sheikh Mansour tried to land him – on the day the Emirati businessman completed his £200m club takeover in 2008.
Current Etihad chief Pep Guardiola is also understood to have looked at a reunion with his Barca old boy before his move to PSG in 2021.
There have been murmurs of Spain over a sentimental return to Barca.
But Spanish journalist to Guillem Balague believes that’s unlikely, due to Messi’s difficult relationship with the club’s current president Joan Laporta.
So a first-ever stint in England might sound enticing for a man with 112 goals in 193 internationals
GettyMiami want Messi to extend his two-year stay in the MLS[/caption]
9 hours agoBlogsComments Off on Jason Manford left furious after being forced to share a hotel bedroom due to chain’s ‘stinking’ rule
JASON Manford was left utterly furious after he was forced to share a hotel bedroom.
The 8 Out of 10 Cats team captain is in the middle of his nationwide tour of the UK and Ireland.
GettyJason Manford was left fuming after arrangements on his tour went awry[/caption]
X/JasonManfordHe took to social media in a rant video as he claimed he was forced to share a hotel room with one of his entourage[/caption]
However, Jason, 44 has run into trouble at his latest stop in Bournemouth.
He’s currently visiting various cities and towns as part of his ‘A Manford All Seasons’ string of shows.
After travelling all day with his pal, he expected to have a rest at the Village Hotel in the coastal city.
However, he took to social media in anger as he was forced to share a room with his pal as the hotel was overbooked.
The post on X – formerly known as Twitter – read: “What’s your minimum expectation when you book a room at @Villagehotelsup?
“Staff were lovely but policy stinks!”
He accompanied his angry message with a video rant as he made his way to his hotel room with his pal Steve, who may form part of the touring entourage.
Ironically, his pal had the same name as his character in Waterloo Road where he played a corrupt headmaster.
In the almost two minute video, he explained: “So we got to our hotel tonight in Bournemouth and it’s fully booked. We were like, ‘fine. So that’s good, well done you’.
They went, ‘No, no, as in like without you’. So me and Steve, obviously [we’re] in separate rooms.
And then we just discovered that basically if it’s fully booked it means that, [you have to share].”
Laughing out loud, he sarcastically joked: “I mean we spent all day together. Oh, well, at least we’ve got a nice view of the car park!”
Before continuing: “Oh well, these things happen and all that. Worst things happen at sea.
“But Village Hotel, just beware, if you are booking and it’s a busy day in a busy city, you could, I mean, we’re lucky that [our booking] was two rooms because that fella coming behind us.
What’s your minimum expectation when you book a room at Village Hotels? Staff were lovely but policy stinks!
Jason ManfordX
“A doctor as well and no room for him. He just had to walk out, and like and there’s no rooms anywhere in Bournemouth tonight.”
Reprimanding the hotel in the video, he added: “Naughty that, naughty.
“I’ve heard of aeroplanes doing it, but I’ve never known in 25 years of touring, a hotel doing it. That’s not on, that is not on.”
He panned round the camera of his room, to show two single beds, as he remarked: “So we’ve managed to make best of our situation.
“But that poor doctor, maybe we could get a little, I think he could sleep on the floor!
“Yeah, he’ll be alright. Anyway, good night.”
The presenter and actor had travelled all day and was greeted with a nasty surpriseGettyGettyJason claimed that a doctor was turned away because the hotel was overbooked[/caption]
X/JasonManfordAs he revealed that he was forced to share a room, he gave fans a peek at the facilities[/caption]
9 hours agoBlogsComments Off on We live in UK’s ‘worst’ seaside town – tourists say it’s rundown and crime is a problem but here’s why locals love it
BILLY BUTLIN’S Bognor Regis holiday camp will celebrate a milestone birthday tomorrow.
But 65 years after the famous Redcoats first welcomed families to the resort on July 2, 1960, the once thriving seaside town has been branded the WORST in Britain.
SolentIn a damning survey by consumer magazine Which?, seaside town Bognor scored a measly 36 per cent approval rate[/caption]
SolentA glance around the high street reveals boarded-up shopfronts, peeling paintwork and a host of vape stores[/caption]
SolentThe beach is beautiful but just one street back it’s all rubble and boarded-up shopfronts, says Gary Markwell, Reform group leader for West Sussex County Council[/caption]
In a damning survey by consumer magazine Which?, it scored a measly 36 per cent approval rate.
This compares with 84 per cent for Bamburgh, Northumberland, which topped the poll
Bognor, which hosted King George V in 1929 as he recovered from lung surgery, was slammed as dirty and rundown. Maybe the King would have agreed, having famously said “bugger Bognor” when asked to bestow the suffix “Regis” on the town.
The West Sussex town’s beach rating came in at just two stars out of five, while the seafront, food and drink offerings, tourist attractions, scenery, shopping, parking, peace and quiet and value for money received one star each.
Considering Princess Diana used to spend her family holidays in an estate nearby, it is a devastating fall from grace for the town.
But when we visited on a sweltering Sunday, many furious locals and visitors hit back at the Bognor bashing.
There were hordes of sun seekers flocking to the shingle beach and feasting on fish and chips as they made the most of one of the hottest days of the year so far.
Bikini-wearing Olivia Martin, a 27-year-old accountant from Walton-on-Thames, Surrey, was sunbathing with her pals.
‘Bad jokes’
She told us: “I’m really surprised by that report, there are definitely far worse beach resorts around.
“It’s peaceful here and I haven’t seen any street drinkers or homeless people like you do further down the coast in Brighton and Worthing.
“It’s the first time I’ve been to Bognor but I’ll definitely be back.”
Local paddleboarder Malcolm Nisse, 57, grew up in Bognor and was quick to defend his hometown.
He said: “The problem is this town has been the butt of bad jokes for years.
“Like any seaside town it has seen better days. Yes, it is worn in places but there are lots of lovely houses and it’s a great place to raise a family.
“People are quick to complain but other places are far more rundown and don’t get the bad press we get.”
Yet while there were plenty of families having good old-fashioned fun in the sun, immigration, crime and the “Benidorm boom” — cheap package holidays to sunny Spanish hotspots — have hit the town hard.
And the decades of decline are clear to see. A swathe of former bed and breakfasts along the promenade have been converted into a grim patchwork of crumbling HMOs, halfway houses and temporary accommodation.
The high street has certainly seen better days. A glance around reveals boarded-up shopfronts, peeling paintwork and a host of vape stores, cash converters and bookies. And the ornate Victorian pier has fallen into disrepair.
Like many such coastal towns around the country, Nigel Farage’s Reform Party has capitalised by winning council seats.
In April, Reform’s Giuliano Leo Pinnelli secured a seat on the town council after a by-election.
“Like all seaside towns, it’s been chronically neglected,” explained Gary Markwell, Reform group leader for West Sussex County Council and one of its four Reform UK members.
“There are frustrations at the lack of vision. The beach is beautiful but just one street back it’s all rubble and boarded-up shopfronts.
“Along with a rise in immigration, largely from eastern Europe, there has been an increase in shoplifting, fighting and anti-social behaviour.
“There was even a drug-related fatal stabbing on the beach a few months ago, and a teenager caught with a machete.
“People around here perceive the police as too soft. They don’t turn up or don’t do anything.
“People are fed up of seeing someone getting a custodial sentence for posting on Facebook or tweeting while knife crime is ignored.”
The beachfront Waverley pub was doing a brisk trade at the weekend, with live music and every table taken for lunch.
But landlord Rob Chamberlain agreed that the number of former offenders and immigrants being housed in Bognor is testing the town to breaking point.
There are frustrations at the lack of vision. The beach is beautiful but just one street back it’s all rubble and boarded-up shopfronts
Reform’s Giuliano Leo Pinnelli
He told us: “There’s been a problem with illegal immigration which has changed the culture of the town. Many don’t learn the language or get involved, which makes some people hostile.
“It’s become a dumping ground for people with drug and alcohol problems.”
And Tracey Alderton, a resident for 26 years, is concerned about smashed shop windows and rough sleepers.
Asked if she lived in Bognor, Tracey sighed, “unfortunately”. The 63-year-old, who owns a business with her husband, said: “We’ve had so much crime. The police do absolutely nothing. I have not got anything good to say.
“They are trying to improve it but I don’t think the plants are good, they look like weeds.
SolentAmy and Amelia Steggall soaking up the sun on Bognor’s pebble beach[/caption]
SolentBikini-wearing Olivia Martin, a 27-year-old accountant from Walton-on-Thames, Surrey, says it’s ‘peaceful’ in Bongor[/caption]
SolentThe beach is still a big draw for families[/caption]
“They need to start with the crime problem. Until they address these problems it’s not going to improve.
“We’ve still got somebody sleeping in the doorways. At one point we had loads of them. We were frightened to walk down here. The major thing is the crime.”
The town ranks in the top five most dangerous towns in West Sussex, with 138 crimes per 1,000 people in 2023.
Immigration is a political hot potato here, but Reform councillor Trevor Bence insists the issue is not confined to Bognor. “I’m sick to the back teeth of people knocking Bognor,” he said.
“It’s no different to every other coastal resort in the entire country. This report is totally unfair.”
Either way, huge investment is already on the horizon.
‘Lots of drunks’
Work has started on an £8million regeneration of The Arcade shopping centre, £15million is being spent on renovating the Alexandra Theatre and there are plans for a new secondary school.
Building work on a £13million, 150-room Premier Inn is under way and the town’s last remaining nightclub is reopening.
Deputy Mayor Paul Wells said: “Cheap package holidays and a lack of investment came at the same time, creating a perfect storm for Bognor, but now investment is starting to trickle through.”
Every year, more than 100,000 visitors visit Bognor over the summer months, swamping the population of 64,000.
Among them last weekend was heath worker Gemma Nolan, 37, from Coulsdon, South London, who was staying in a caravan park with her partner Aaron, her sisters and their children.
They prefer Bognor’s traditional bucket-and-spade charm to better known destinations such as Brighton or Blackpool.
They need to start with the crime problem. Until they address these problems it’s not going to improve
Local resident Tracey Alderton
“My mum used to come here,” she told us.
“I can see why people complain about the lack of facilities compared to bigger towns but that means it’s always quieter here, and better value for money, and we like that. Bognor definitely needs modernising but that suits us because we’re old school.”
GettyYoung women wearing bikinis and swimming costumes pose beside the swimming pool at Butlins holiday resort in Bognor Regis, England in 1964[/caption]
SolentThe town ranks in the top five most dangerous towns in West Sussex, with 138 crimes per 1,000 people in 2023[/caption]
While holidaymakers are happy, many locals maintain that their hometown has been overlooked for public funding in the past and that it has been left behind by Arun District Council in favour of neighbouring Littlehampton.
Cleaner Lesley Barnes, 70, criticised the length of time the £1.39million regeneration of the seafront to widen pavements and replace parking spaces with flowerbeds had taken.
“It’s been months,” she said. “We don’t go down to the seafront. When you live here it is not something you do.”
Her friend, retired traffic warden Mary Clark, 70, agreed the town has gone downhill in the 29 years she has lived there.
She said: “I just think the town is filthy. It could definitely do with a clean-up all around the railway station. There’s lots of drunks outside everywhere.
“There are a lot of empty shops. There’s a lot of shoplifting. You don’t see a lot of police any more, you don’t see anybody around.
“All the money just goes to Littlehampton.
“All these vape shops . . . it has gone downhill a lot.”
The residents may not be happy, but Met Office records show that Bognor averages around 1,900 hours of sunshine a year, making it right up there as one of the sunniest spots in the country.
Bognor is also home to a new Amazon distribution centre, which has boosted job opportunities, as well as the University of Chich-ester’s engineering campus.
And then, of course, there is still Butlin’s, which provides a huge boost to the local economy all year round. Its Big Weekender events frequently draw 5,000 people to the town to see headline acts such as Stephen Mulhern, Peter Andre, Wet Wet Wet, Tony Hadley, Blue, Five and DJ Spoony.
Friends Holly Carter, Lewis Harvey and Kieran Webb, all 29, were enjoying a relaxing break at Butlin’s for the first time on the weekend.
And though they found the pier “sad”, Holly, a psychologist, had a simple suggestion . . .
“Everything just needs a new coat of paint and then it would look a million times better.”
SolentThe decades of decline are clear to see[/caption]
SolentHolly Carter said it’ll look ‘a million times better’ if Bognor just had a new coat of paint[/caption]
GIVE TOWN A CHANCE
By Lisa Minot, Head of Travel
BASHING Bognor smacks of pure laziness to me.
Like many other traditional seaside towns, the rise of cheap package holidays abroad and lack of investment have definitely taken their toll on what was once the jewel of the South Coast.
Yes, it’s a long way from its glory days, but with the thriving Butlin’s providing employment for many locals and a multi-million-pound regeneration of the seafront, it would be foolish to write it off just yet.
Public and private investment is a must and, with the likes of Margate and Folkestone in nearby Kent, we have seen just how rundown seaside towns can turn their fortunes around if this happens.
Bognor Regis still has a vital role to play in allowing families on lower incomes a safe, sunny and good-value break.
We should be applauding its efforts to invest and improve – and not merely focus on the negatives.
9 hours agoBlogsComments Off on Senate backs public bicam budget hearings
The Senate on Monday welcomed calls to increase transparency in the bicameral committee hearings on the budget process in the 20th Congress. “The Senate is open to serious proposals seeking to enhance public access and understanding of the crafting of the national budget,” Senate Secretary Renato Bantug Jr. said in a statement. “We likewise welcome
9 hours agoBlogsComments Off on Inbetweeners star James Buckley and wife ‘stalked by woman, 26, and threatened with violent acts’ near their Essex home
INBETWEENERS star James Buckley and his actress wife Clair were stalked by a woman and “threatened with violent acts”, a court heard.
Court records show the couple “feared on at least two occasions that violence would be used” against them between Monday and Wednesday last week.
GettyJames and his wife Clair were stalked by a woman and ‘threatened with violent acts’, a court heard[/caption]
PA:Press AssociationJames was allegedly pursued by Keavy O’Mahoney near his home in Chelmsford, Essex[/caption]
James — Jay Cartwright in the Channel 4 comedy — was allegedly pursued by Keavy O’Mahoney near his home in Chelmsford, Essex.
Ms O’Mahoney, 26, of Stanford, Beds, was arrested and charged.
She was bailed at Luton magistrates’ court on Thursday but banned from using any electronic devices to contact the couple.
She must also spend each night at home and is not allowed to leave without being accompanied by an adult approved by social services.
O’Mahoney will appear at Luton crown court on July 28.
The show’s three series, which spawned two films, also kickstarted the career of TV favourite Emily Atack.
The Buckleys’ representative declined to comment on the charges.
James and Clair have two children and co-host a podcast called At Home With The BuckleysPaul Stuart Commissioned by The Sunday Times MagazineAdam LawrenceJames alongside Inbetweeners co-stars Simon Bird, Joe Thomas and Blake Harrison[/caption]
9 hours agoBlogsComments Off on Legendary bodybuilder in hospital after ‘medical emergency’ as 8-time Mr Olympia forced to pull out of UK event
LEGENDARY bodybuilder Ronnie Coleman has been rushed to hospital with a “medical emergency” – forcing him to axe upcoming appearances.
Ronnie, 61, is hailed as one of the sport’s greatest ever competitors and holds the record for most Mr Olympia titles with eight.
Ronnie Coleman has suffered a ‘medical emergency’RexThe Mega AgencyHe has had to pull out of upcoming UK appearances[/caption]
In an Instagram post on Sunday, he wrote: “Hey guys, I hate to break it to y’all, but I won’t be able to make it out to the UK this week like I planned.
“Unfortunately, I had a medical emergency and had to stick around here in the US for treatment.
“But don’t worry […] I’m in great hands, getting the best care, and I’m staying strong through it all.
“I’ll be back and better than ever, and I can’t wait to get out there and see you all real soon!
“Thanks for all the love and support and as always this ain’t nothin but a peanut.”
Ronnie has also won 26 International Fitness and Bodybuilding Federation (IFBB) titles.
He retired back in 2007 after his reign as Mr Olympia came to an end.
More to follow… For the latest news on this story, keep checking back at The U.S. Sun, your go-to destination for the best celebrity news, sports news, real-life stories, jaw-dropping pictures, and must-see videos.
9 hours agoBlogsComments Off on I’m having passionate sex and falling for late husband’s brother – would in-laws accept our relationship?
Getty
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband died in a work accident three years ago.
Now I’m sharing a bed with his brother but we can’t tell anyone.
When my husband fell from a roof three years ago, I was devastated.
He was the only man I’d ever loved. He was 29 and I was 28. We’d been married for a year.
I’ve always been close with his family. His brother was my rock through that terrible time.
His brother is 34 and divorced. During the week he would check up on me and we would spend longer together at weekends. He’d pull up with a picnic in the car or tell me that we were going to the coast. He was charming and respectful.
My late husband and his brother were close but they are very different characters. Still, when I close my eyes sometimes I think he sounds just like my husband.
We were at the beach one Saturday and it had been such a perfect day we decided to get some dinner before catching the train home.
During our meal, he asked whether I’d consider dating.
When I said yes, he said, “Would you consider dating me?”. I was shocked but at that moment realised that deep down, I’d had feelings for him for a long time.
We ended up booking a room in a pretty B&B and had an amazing night together.
The sex was passionate and emotional because of the connection with my husband.
We are now meeting regularly but nobody else knows.
His parents have said to me that they know I’ll move on and they would give me their blessing — but they are so old-fashioned, I doubt they would accept this.
DEIDRE SAYS: Both of you are consenting adults and you can do as you wish. If your in-laws loved you and welcomed you into the family before, after such a tragedy, happiness for their son and for you may be their ultimate wish.
The brothers will no doubt have similar traits, hence the attraction for you, but you do need to ensure that you have some bereavement counselling, so that you can be certain this man is right for you.
Be wary of unconsciously trying to replace the husband you loved so much.
My support pack called Coping With Bereavement will show you where to find emotional support.
When you feel more confident about the reasons you’re together, you can work out how to tackle your in-laws. Good luck!
Get in touch with Deidre
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
MUM AND WIFE ARE SWORN ENEMIES
DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my mum is in our house with my wife I can’t relax. They hate each other.
I’m a 41-year-old man and an only child. Mum is 67 and I guess she never imagined me leaving home.
But when I met my wife through a friend, it was love at first sight. We moved in together within six months and bought a house when I got a promotion at work.
The issue is, it’s 200 miles away from Mum. She never liked the fact my relationship happened quickly or that I moved away. She sees my wife as the catalyst.
My wife doesn’t like my mother because she’s critical of her cooking and laundry skills – everything she used to do for me, really.
When Mum comes to stay, it’s for a week at a time and there are always fireworks. What can I do?
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m afraid you have to sort this out. Your mum has to accept that you’re a grown man.
Have a word with her, explaining that while nobody can replace her, it is upsetting if she’s critical of your wife in her own home. Tell her that you want her to try to get along.
Maybe there are some activities or outings that would take them away from home, which may ease the pressure.
When your mother next decides to visit, take some holiday from work so that you are there to dilute the situation.
MY MAN HAD SEX WITH A BLOKE AND GAVE ME STI
DEAR DEIDRE: I SET a honey trap for my husband and he fell for it hook, line and sinker.
It was because I’d caught gonorrhoea from him – but the worst thing was, he’d caught it from another man.
It shouldn’t matter how he caught it, but it’s made my marriage feel like a sham. I’m a 34 year old woman and my husband is 37. We’ve been together for ten years.
When my doctor told me what I had, I looked at my husband’s iPad and was horrified to find messages from several other men. Some mentioned the sex they had enjoyed. The messages always coincided with me being on nights.
I registered with the site myself, posing as a man and I reached out to him. He took the bait and went along to meet ‘Tony’ – but, of course, it was me.
He was shocked, denying he’d done anything wrong. I’ve thrown him out but now he’s hassling me, saying he wants me back.
DEIDRE SAYS: If he’s not able to be honest about his cheating or sexuality, it’s hard to see how you can recover from this.
He has betrayed your trust. You now have evidence he’s willing to cheat, jeopardising your sexual health.
Nobody deserves that. Please make an appointment for STI treatment.
An impartial counsellor will help you decide what to do now. Find support at tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1975).
ANONYMOUS TEXT SAYS SHE CHEATS
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM too scared to tackle my wife about her “boyfriend” in case what I’ve heard about her is true and our marriage is over.
We’ve been together 11 years and I love her to bits. She’s 41 and I’m 45. She never learnt to drive because she was brought up in London, but after we met, we moved out to the countryside.
She had a part-time job in a village shop and I work for an engineering company. She started behaving a bit differently, taking more pride in her appearance but I thought it was all for my benefit.
Then she started asking me for lifts into town to “meet some friends”, which I didn’t mind doing.
I was at home one evening watching TV when I got a WhatsApp message from a number I didn’t know saying: “Sorry mate, but I’ve just seen your wife kissing another guy.”
I tried phoning the WhatsApp number, but the call was declined.
Things are falling into place and I am wondering whether I’ve been giving her a lift so that she can meet this guy. She knows something is wrong and keeps asking if I’m OK but I don’t know what to say.
DEIDRE SAYS: Allowing this to fester is going to make you more angry and upset.
Find a quiet moment together and tell her why you’ve been acting so out of character. Explain about the message and listen carefully to how she handles the confrontation.
You’ll know pretty much straight away from her body language if she’s lying. If she says they are friends, ask if you can meet him.
If something has made your wife have her head turned, you need to know what it is so you can do something to improve your relationship.
My support pack, Cheating – Can You Get Over It? may help you see that it’s not definitely over just yet.