CAP d’Agde lies on a stunning stretch of Mediterranean coastline in the south of France. The sea is crystal clear, the sands are powdery white.
But frankly, nobody really cares, because visitors come here with only one thing on their minds – SEX.
Sex with their partners, sex with someone else’s partner, group sex, sex on the beach, sex in the sea, sex during foam parties.
In this hedonistic playground, anything goes.
Hundreds of thousands of swingers, including many Brits, descend on the resort each summer looking to fulfil their wildest fantasies.
But despite all the exhibitionism, it’s a closed, secretive world. As a rule, visitors to Cap d’Agde follow the motto: what goes on tour, stays on tour.
Most visitors have been part of the swinging scene for a while and have received an “invitation” to join the fun.
But one Cap d’Agde regular has agreed to speak to Fabulous, on the condition her identity is kept secret.
“There are parties going on, group interactions, couples looking for single guys, single women, couples – anything goes,” says Katie, 34, who visits Cap d’Agde with her partner of six years, Steffan, 39.
The couple, from Milton Keynes, run a website for swingers – fittingly.
“Everyone finds it so exciting,” she says. “You get a real sense of the hedonist lifestyle. I’ve seen all sorts. Cap d’Agde has really opened my eyes. It’s crazy.”
The two kilometre beach at Cap d’Agde is divided into three zones. The first is for ordinary families, the second for naturists and the third section is for swingers.
Bonkers’ beach, if you will. The swingers’ zone even has a number of hotels to choose from.
Some accommodation even has two interconnecting rooms for couple swaps, while one hotel has a roof terrace where residents can have sex on sun loungers.
Katie had her first swingers experience ten years ago, while with a former partner.
“We were going to Berlin to see a music gig and I was searching on TripAdvisor for what to do – just some innocent searching,” she explains.
“I came across what was described as a lifestyle club. It was number three on the list of attractions. ‘That looks interesting’, I thought. I was nervous, but inquisitive.
You get a real sense of the hedonist lifestyle. I’ve seen all sorts. Cap d’Agde has really opened my eyes. It’s crazy
Katie
“I remember getting the train there with my ex and I felt like people knew where we were heading. It felt a bit naughty.”
When Katie arrived, she discovered her intuition was spot on.
“It was held in a nightclub and while everyone was clothed, there were private areas where people went to have sex or get involved,” she says.
“It was like this other world we didn’t know existed. We just observed the first time and didn’t participate. But it felt incredibly liberating.”
When she came back home, Katie and her partner began visiting swingers’ clubs in Newcastle and Leeds.
‘Soft swap’
“We were keen to meet similar people in the UK,” she says.
“We found so many normal people do it. It’s like a secret life. It opened our minds to a different world. Even so, I didn’t participate the first two or three times. I just watched others having sex.
“By the time I did get involved, I’d made some connections with people, so I was more relaxed. My first experience was a soft swap. My first full swap was the next time we went to a club.
“A soft swap might mean switching partners, but not having full sex. It might involve kissing, or foreplay.
“A full swap is having sex with them. It’s like experimenting, but with other people. It opens you up to a new world of different experiences.”
I’m more of a voyeur – I’ll be in among the fun. I like being in the vibe
Katie
Katie says the word swinging is now considered old-fashioned and those involved in the lifestyle call it ethical non monogamy – ENM.
After splitting with her partner, she met her current boyfriend, Steffan, through the scene six years ago.
About a year later, they took off to Cap d’Agde after learning about it from friends on the scene.
“The first time I went, it opened my eyes even wider,” says Katie.
“There’s all sorts of stuff going on. You’ve got adults playing freely, having sex on the beach and in the sea. Some couples like to stand on the sidelines, enjoying the voyeuristic side where you watch others enjoying themselves.”
Voyeurism is Katie’s particular thing.
“There might be a handful of people I’ll interact with, kissing or dancing,” she says.
“But I’m more of a voyeur – I’ll be in among the fun. I like being in the vibe.”
‘Freedom and empowerment’
Katie and Steffan loved their first experience so much that they have returned every other year since. You could call it a swingers’ pilgrimage.
Katie says that contrary to what appearances might suggest, Cap d’Agde is not a free-for-all. Well, not most of the time.
“Everything is about consent and respect,” she explains
“When you go to Cap d’Agde, you’ll be on one of the lifestylers [swingers] apps, such as one called Wyylde. If you have a profile, you explain what you’re looking for, there is a conversation, then you meet.
“For single guys and adventurous couples, you could have over 10 interactions, from soft swaps to full sex, in a day.”
Interacting with complete strangers is not unusual.
“If you’re on the beach, for example, people might start to watch. You might say, ‘Do you want to join us?’ and there’s the joy of the spontaneous situation.
“But there’s always consent. There’s no pressure. You do get people you’re not interested in making approaches, but you can politely decline.”
One of the curious things about Cap d’Agde is that while all this sex and wild abandon is going on, parents with kids might be eating picnics and building sandcastles just metres along the coast.
“There are families on a different part of the beach,” says Katie.
My parents’ initial reaction was that they wanted to make sure I was OK and it wasn’t something I was being forced into
Katie
“And Cap d’Agde was a naturist village 20 to 30 years ago, before swingers started going there. So you’ll see naturists walking about, who are not there for sex.”
Surprisingly, Katie claims she doesn’t get jealous when she sees Steffan having fun with other women.
“No, actually I find there’s less jealousy,” she says. “It’s about sex positivity, freedom and empowerment. It can strengthen your relationship.”
Katie believes swinging has “skyrocketed” in recent years.
“From our research on Google, it’s around five per cent and growing. It’s opening up in the mainstream,” she says.
“Most of my friends are now in the lifestyle. We told them and they were interested to see what it was all about. People questioning the standard monogamous relationship structures.
“There are ENM clubs across the UK, and events at mansions. From our research, 30 to 60 years old is the main age group, but the 20 to 30 age group is growing.”
What is Swinging?
SWINGING, also known as partner swapping, is a sexual activity where partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with other people.
All parties involved must give explicit and enthusiastic consent.
Open and honest communication between partners is crucial.
Many swingers engage with a community or attend events specifically for swinging.
Such activity can enhance intimacy and trust within the primary relationship.
It provides an opportunity to explore sexual fantasies and desires.
But it is not suitable for every relationship and requires a strong foundation of trust.
Jealousy and emotional challenges may arise and need to be managed.
While Katie wishes her identity to remain unknown to the wider world, her friends and family know her secret.
“My parents’ initial reaction was that they wanted to make sure I was OK and it wasn’t something I was being forced into,” she says.
“But they’re fine with it because they know I’m fine with it. Family members find it interesting – they’re all very inquisitive.”
Katie and Steffan recently started a family. Their baby son is just four months old, so they won’t be heading out to Cap d’Agde this summer.
Being a new mum, my attention is on the little one now
Katie
“Being a new mum, my attention is on the little one now,” says Katie.
“But I’ll definitely be going back at some point. My family will be able to look after my son.”
Despite the demands of motherhood, Katie says she’s very much still part of the “lifestyle”.
She and Steffan recently set up a website, Playful Pineapple, aimed at improving the experiences of swingers.
“Playful Pineapple is a destination for people in the lifestyle. The online experience was dated,” says Katie.
“You get a lot of fake profiles on websites. We want to make it safe, so people know they’re talking to a real person, a social networking space for the lifestyle.
“On our website, you’ve got profiles, what you’re looking for in lifestyling, what your travel plans are, where you might be heading. It’s a safe environment.”
The logo is an upside down pineapple – a swingers’ symbol.
“Upside down pineapple cake, that was the essence of offering, of hospitality, in countries like Hawaii,” says Katie. Now you get necklaces, earrings and so on, to showcase the lifestyle.”
Pineapples are used as a secret sign to other prospective swingers.
At Cap d’Agde, however, there’s no need for pineapples or any other secret sign. When you hit the beach, there’s not a chance of mistaking what it’s all about.
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