THE average daytime quickie now lasts just two minutes, a survey reveals.
A spontaneous bonk in 2023 took two and a half minutes — but got shorter last year.
The two-minute romp usually take place between 10am and 3pm, the survey shows.
That compares with 4mins 10secs of passion during a morning lay-in from 6am to 10am.
A WFH lunchtime love-in — usually between noon and 2.30pm — typically lasts 4mins 30secs.
Afternoon antics — from 2.30pm to 5pm — stretch to 5mins 4secs.
Teatime frolics from 5pm to 8pm slow to 5mins 10secs.
“Normal” nookie from 8pm to midnight lasts 5mins 24 secs.
But the most lingering lust happens after midnight — and takes a leisurely 7mins 10secs, according to the survey by affairs dating website Illicit Encounters.
Its relationships expert, Jessica Leoni, said: “Brits like their romps like their tea — quick, satisfying and at all hours of the day.
“The humble quickie is standing the test of time — albeit getting even speedier.
“Perhaps we’re all busier than ever. Britain’s bonking round the clock.”
Illicit Encounters questioned 2,000 members for its survey.
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RTE star Maura Derrane has shared a glimpse inside her “fabulous” holiday in Germany with her son.
The popular host has one son, Cal, with her politician husband, John Deasy, who she tied the knot with in 2005.
Maura often shares snippets of her day-to-day life over on Instagram.
The Today host recently jetted off on a winter trip to Wiesbaden in Germany with her son.
The pair went to see the Kochbrunnen – the most famous hot spring in the city.
The mum-of-one took to her social media today to share a clip of herself and Cal at the water fountain.
Maura was all smiles as she recorded herself in front of it while Cal stood on the opposite side.
They were both dressed in big coats paired with hats and scarves.
The presenter captioned her post: “Greetings from #weisbaden #germany where the fountain waters are hot thermal springs.
“Cal was not as impressed as me #kochbrunnenwiesbaden #thermalwater #spatown.”
Maura’s fans and friends all flocked to the comments to share their love for her post.
Amelia said: “Beautiful. MAURA. Enjoy.”
James wrote: “Enjoy your time in Germany.”
Annie commented: “Wow what a great place to spend a holiday. Enjoy.”
Fiona gushed: “Looks fabulous.”
Another added: “Beautiful Maura.”
Maura recently made a super stylish return to Today wearing a “fantastic” blazer.
The Galway native was back on screens yesterday alongside her usual co-host Daithi O’Se for another episode of fashion, lifestyle and cooking.
Maura is renowned for chopping and changing her aesthetic on the show with a floral dress one day and a two piece suit the next.
The 54-year-old opted for a chic yet casual look for the show as she donned a simple grey tartan jacket from Zara.
The trendy jacket totally dressed up her look and made for an edgy twist.
The printed jacket had a cropped silhouette and silver buttons down the front.
And fans looking to try out Maura’s fabulous outerwear don’t have to worry about breaking the bank.
The Short Round Neck Jacket is currently available on the Zara website for just €35.99.
THE MoD spent £40,000 a week on chauffeur-driven cars, we can reveal.
Its bill for taxis and limos in the year to April was up 45 per cent to £2.1million.
The outlay would pay the annual salary of 83 private soldiers earning £25,200 a year.
One car for defence officials cost £4,500 for a 1,060-mile return journey from barracks in Chepstow to Inverness.
Another staff round trip from Loughborough to Scotland’s east coast set the cash-strapped MoD back by £3,500.
Our investigation, using Freedom of Information laws, also revealed a £3,000 car ferried officials around the country then back to the Midlands.
William Yarwood, of the TaxPayers’ Alliance, called it a “pointless waste” of money.
It comes as experts warn the UK is vulnerable to attack due to lack of investment in the Armed Forces.
Former MP and Defence Committee chair Tobias Ellwood said: “If people were aware of how vulnerable we are, there would be a greater outcry to spend more on defence.”
The MoD blamed the previous government. It said: “We are committed to securing value for money for taxpayers and cracking down on waste.”
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DESSIE FARRELL revealed it is “very unlikely” that Michael Fitzsimons will feature for Dublin in 2025.
The nine-time Sam Maguire winner has not featured for the Capital in either of their two Division 1 football league games so far.
And speaking to TG4 after their defeat to Donegal on Saturday evening, Dublin manager revealed the veteran would not be back this year.
He said: “It is unlikely that Michael will be back with us.
“He has had a long, long season when you combine the inter-county and the great run that Cuala had.
“He is a busy man in his profession as well. Every one knows that so it is very unlikely that we will have Mick back.
“He has been a brilliant servant and we miss him greatly but that seems to be the situation at the minute.”
Fitzsimons’ season only ended on January 19 when he and Cuala won the All-Ireland senior club football final against Errigal Ciaran.
It was far from Fitzsimons’ first national medal, however, as it represented his TENTH at senior level and ELEVENTH overall.
The 35-year-old added the club crown to his NINE Sam Maguires won in the Sky Blue of Dublin.
He was one of three men to cross that landmark when Dessie Farrell’s men beat Kerry in the 2023 final – the others being James McCarthy and Stephen Cluxton.
McCarthy has since retired – as has Brian Fenton – while Cluxton is expected back at some point this season.
But he will be the last of the three amigos, with Farrell paying tribute to the other two for the impact they had on Dublin.
He added: “Himself and James McCarthy, two fabulous ambassadors for Dublin GAA over the years.
“I think the education they have given the rest of the players and the standards the set has been pretty immense.
“A huge loss for us but a great opportunity for others and already we are seeing a different face to this Dublin team, a different identity starting to emerge.
“The experience isn’t there but hopefully the heart and desire will be and we will work with that.”
Fitzsimons himself placed the All-Ireland he won with Cuala right up there alongside the Celtic Crosses won in the Sky Blue.
The 14-time Leinster SFC winner said: “Every single game with the club is . . . like, it’s different.
“The bond we have with Dublin is phenomenal and the way you get to know lads, from different parts of the city, that’s phenomenal.
“But you can’t beat winning with the club. I would have watched all of those club All-Ireland finals in envy, but admiration for those lads too. Mossy Quinn just finished up and led Vincent’s, just phenomenal, and Michael Savage, Ger Brennan . . . lovely lads.
“I’d see them doing it and then Crokes were doing it, with Paul Mannion and Rory O’Carroll.
“I’d get on very well with those lads and was always so impressed with what they did — Darragh Nelson at Ballyboden the same.
“It was always something we’d dreamed of but a lot of times we didn’t think it would happen. We knew we had decent players but it was pulling it together and getting a panel.
“Then we had 32 lads out training and we were just emphasising that that was the importance of it, as in having such a big group pushing in the same direction and committing.
“Even if they weren’t getting game-time or getting the fruits of it on the pitch, they were phenomenal as a group.”
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