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I’ve been with my older boyfriend for seven months and he still won’t tell people about me

DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN’T be certain that my boyfriend loves me because he won’t let me be open about our relationship.

I wanted to announce that we are together on my Instagram and Facebook pages. He’s 45 and I’m a woman of 28.

We had a gorgeous photo taken at my friend’s wedding. But as soon as I asked whether I could put it up as my status, my boyfriend went mad, saying he “might be recognised”.

He said I couldn’t advertise us as being an item. His sons are nearly the same age as me.

I finally met his brother. After that, I told my boyfriend that I loved him and paused, waiting for him to say he loved me. But he said, “I’m not there yet”.

We’ve been together for seven months but I don’t know how much longer I should wait for some sort of commitment.

READ MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

LIBIDO GONE

I love my husband but I dread bedtime because he always wants sex & I rarely do

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DEIDRE SAYS: Not everyone likes their life to be documented on social media.

But that said, seven months is a long time to be somebody’s secret. It’s not a nice feeling.

Because you’re hanging in limbo, find a moment to ask him outright whether he sees a future with you.

If he does, he has to let you into the side of his life which you know little about.

Your age difference may be throwing up doubts for him. If this is the case, my support pack called Age Gaps – Do They Matter? will help you to tackle a conversation about it.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

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I love my husband but I dread bedtime because he always wants sex and I rarely do

DEAR DEIDRE: I LOVE my husband, but I dread bedtime because he always wants sex and I rarely do.

My drive has completely gone and I don’t think he understands it’s out of my control.

We have everything you could wish for. We have no money worries, a lovely home and good friends.

Everything is perfect except for the sex – and my husband is getting fed up. I’m 32 and things changed when I had our first child, who is now two.

Since then, my sex drive has returned a little, but it has been intermittent.

We’ve tried everything – date nights, baths together, toys, watching pornography – but nothing helps me to feel aroused.

My husband is 36 and he’s gentle and loving. We’ve been together for six years. I’m now pregnant again and everything has shut down once more.

We’ve had sex four times in six months.

It’s not enough, is it? I daren’t even have a cuddle with my husband because he’ll think I want to have sex, but nothing could be further from the truth. I feel old before my time.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Firstly, don’t feel so hung up on the amount of times you have sex.

Four times in six months is a lot for some couples. It is all about quality sex and a sexual connection.

Just because you don’t want intercourse, it does not mean you’re not being sexual with your husband.

My guess is your lack of arousal is your body’s way of telling you you’re going to protect your baby at all costs. Unless your doctor or midwife tells you otherwise, sex during pregnancy is safe. But you call the shots.

There are lots of ways of being intimate without intercourse – my support pack, Sex Play Therapy, explains.

If things don’t improve after the birth, you can find a therapist through The College of Sexual Relationship Therapists (cosrt.org.uk, 020 8106 9635).

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Read More »

Fury as Lucy Letby’s fans host sick pub party to mark baby killer’s birthday

SUPPORTERS of baby killer Lucy Letby sparked fury with a pub party to mark her birthday.

They toasted the monster with prosecco and cake and held up banners insisting she is innocent of her crimes.

Mugshot of Lucy Letby.
PA
Supporters of baby killer Lucy Letby sparked fury with a pub party to mark her birthday[/caption]
A photo of people celebrating Lucy Letby's birthday at a pub.
They toasted the monster with prosecco and cake and held up banners insisting she is innocent of her crimes
People holding a sign that reads "A blatant miscarriage of justice."
The group even put pictures of the party online
Peach-colored cake decorated with frosting roses and "Lucy 35" written on top.
SWNS
The friends celebrated the baby killer’s birthday with a cake[/caption]
The Windmill pub in Clapham Common.
google maps
The Windmill pub in Clapham, South London[/caption]
Photo of Lucy Letby, a neonatal nurse, holding a baby's garment.
SWNS
Letby, who was 35 on January 4, is serving a whole life tariff in jail after being convicted of seven murders and six attempted killings[/caption]

The group even put pictures of the party online, which were seen by a friend of a parent whose premature daughter was murdered by twisted Letby.

They raged: “There are families who will never get to celebrate their children’s birthdays. What’s next, do we have celebrations for Myra Hindley and Ian Brady?”

Nurse Letby, who was 35 on January 4, is serving a whole life tariff in jail after being convicted of seven murders and six attempted killings at the Countess of Chester Hospital’s neo-natal unit.

Her supporters are said to have met via a private Facebook group Lucy Letby Discussions, whose members think she is innocent and should be freed.

Pictures from the event show four people with a banner reading “Happy Birthday Lucy” and “a blatant miscarriage of justice”.

One attendee, a South London carer aged 45, using the name Lulu Tee, said: “It was a meet-up of people from the groups.

“We wanted to get together to toast her birthday and speak about the case.

“The organiser sorted a cake and banners to outline it was a miscarriage of justice.

“It’s been portrayed we’re a bunch of conspiracy theorists but its a huge group of professional people who feel this way.”

A spokesman for The Windmill pub in Clapham, South London, declined to comment.

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