IF Love Island’s Harriett thinks her ex-boyfriend Ronnie is her only option, ‘it’s time she re-evaluated her standards’, a relationship guru has claimed.
Ronnie Vint left All Stars fans gasping after his declaration of love to Harriett Blackmore in last night’s episode.
A Dating and Relationship Coach has revealed the five reasons why Harriett Blackmore shouldn’t get back with Ronnie Vint[/caption]
According to Kate Mansfield, it’s imortant that Harriett, 24, re-evaluates her standards and focuses on her own personal growth[/caption]
The pair shared a cheeky snog[/caption]
But Kate thinks getting back with her ex could be a very bad idea for the brunette bombshell[/caption]
It follows after recent episodes, where viewers watched the 24-year-old brunette bombshell confidently arrive during the show’s iconic kissing challenge – and, as expected, turned Ronnie’s head instantly, when he marked her passionate snog a solid 10 out of 10.
It ended his two-week romance with TOWIE’s Elma Pazar, 32, on the spot as he confessed he was “in love” with his ex and wanted to win her back.
And whilst Harriett claimed she wouldn’t be kissing him all series as he tenderly caressed her legs on the day bed, just one episode later, the pair puckered up for a romantic smooch in the secret garden.
It’s after Harriett was pied by Ron Hall who she picked, apparently, to keep Ronnie, who sent her roses for Christmas – signing off the card “love you” – on his toes.
But now, after the pair confessed their “love” for each other and expressed their desire to couple up, a Dating and Relationship Coach has set the record straight on why getting back with her ex might not be the best idea for Harriett.
It comes after fans were left begging Harriett not to take back her ex after last night’s show, as one wrote: “Harriett should not immediately let Ronnie in her world… He doesn’t deserve it.”
Meanwhile, another voiced: “Harriett needs to wake up and smell the coffee. Please girl f him off.”
Now, Kate Mansfield tells Fabulous: “I’ve been following the drama with Harriett from Love Island, who’s considering rekindling things with Ronnie.
“Let’s break down why this might not be the best move for her (or for anyone, really).”
Thanks to Kate, here are five reasons why you should think twice before diving back into an old romance – so if your ex-fella is sliding into your DMs, you’ll need to take notes.
Old Patterns Resurface
According to Kate, when you rekindle with an ex, you often fall back into the same patterns that led to the break-up in the first place.
Kate asks: “If Ronnie and Harriett had issues before, what’s changed?
“History tends to repeat itself, and it’s easy to slip back into habits that aren’t healthy, or are toxic and will ultimately waste your time or prevent you from moving on to someone new.”
The Illusion of Change
Not only this, but this dating expert claimed that whilst it’s tempting to believe that time apart has magically transformed someone, this often isn’t the case.
“Unless there’s been genuine personal growth and change, chances are you’ll be facing the same challenges.
Signs your relationship is heading for a divorce
- Persistent Communication Breakdowns
Constant misunderstandings, arguments, or a complete lack of meaningful conversation can signal deep-seated issues. - Emotional Distance
Feeling like roommates rather than partners, with a noticeable lack of intimacy or emotional connection. - Frequent Criticism and Contempt
Regularly criticising each other and showing contempt, such as sarcasm, eye-rolling, or mocking, can erode the relationship’s foundation. - Unresolved Conflicts
Recurrent arguments about the same issues without any resolution can indicate deeper incompatibilities. - Loss of Trust
Trust is crucial in any relationship. If it’s been broken and cannot be rebuilt, it may be a sign that the relationship is in trouble. - Different Life Goals
Significant differences in future aspirations, such as career goals, lifestyle choices, or family planning, can create insurmountable divides. - Avoidance
Preferring to spend time apart rather than together, whether through work, hobbies, or social activities, can indicate a desire to escape the relationship. - Lack of Support
Feeling unsupported, whether emotionally, financially, or practically, can lead to feelings of isolation and resentment. - Financial Disagreements
Constantly arguing about money, spending habits, or financial priorities can strain the relationship. - Infidelity
Whether physical or emotional, infidelity can be a major breach of trust and a sign of deeper issues in the relationship. - Changes in Affection
A noticeable decrease in affection, physical touch, or romantic gestures can indicate a loss of connection.
“Harriett needs to consider whether Ronnie has actually worked on himself or if it’s just wishful thinking,” Kate stresses.
Emotional Rollercoaster
In addition to this, Kate recognises that rekindling a relationship can lead to an emotional rollercoaster.
Kate explains: “The highs might feel amazing, but the lows can be just as intense.
“Harriett should ask herself if she’s ready to navigate those ups and downs again, especially if the relationship was tumultuous before.”
You Deserve Better
If that wasn’t enough, according to Kate, it’s important that singletons remember that everyone is deserving of a relationship that brings joy and stability, not one filled with uncertainty.
Kate continues: “If Harriett thinks Ronnie is her only option, it’s time to reevaluate her standards. There are plenty of people out there who can offer her the love and respect she deserves.
Harriett should prioritise her growth and happiness rather than revisiting what may have been a temporary high
Kate Mansfield
“Feelings for your ex can keep you from seeing what is available to you and I am actually a huge fan of no contact for at least 60 days after a break up.
“Once you go cold turkey for this long, you will start to fully move on and heal from them properly.”
Focus on Personal Growth
Finally, getting back with an ex is not always the best plan of action, as according to Kate, it can distract you from your own personal development.
Subsequently, instead of moving forward, if you rekindle things with an old flame, you may find yourself stuck in the past.
According to Kate, Harriett should prioritise her own personal growth[/caption]
Kate recommends: “Harriett should prioritise her growth and happiness rather than revisiting what may have been a temporary high.
“Beware of the ‘staying friends’ trap. It will keep you in a holding pattern and over-giving your precious time and attention to someone who can’t reciprocate, or doesn’t deserve your love.”
To which Kate concludes: “While the idea of reuniting with an ex can be tempting, it’s crucial to weigh the potential risks.
“Harriett, and anyone considering this path, should take a step back and really think about what they want and deserve.
“True love is out there, but not always with the person you think that you want in the moment – trust that sometimes what you want and what you really need are not the same thing.”
Things to Consider Before Giving Your Ex Another Chance
Not only this, but Kate also shares the four things you must consider before getting back with an ex-partner.
She recognises that getting back with an ex can be daunting – and for all good reasons.
Relationships in numbers: The most common way to meet someone
YouGov looked into how Brits find love, and your best bet is at work or through friends according to the data.
- Through work – 18%
- Through friends – 18%
- While out and about – 15%
- Other – 11%
- Online dating platform – 7%
- University or higher education – 6%
- Dating app – 6%
- School – 5%
- Shared hobby – 5%
- Family – 3%
- Face to face at an event – 0%
As a result, she reveals the key considerations that should guide your decision-making process – from assessing attachment styles, to establishing clear boundaries.
Examine Past Patterns
Before making any decisions and getting back with an ex, Kate stresses the importance of taking a step back and reflecting on the patterns that characterised your relationship in the first place.
She questions: “Were there recurring issues that led to your initial separation?
Kate stressed that understanding patterns will ensure couples don’t make the same mistakes again[/caption]
“Understanding these patterns can help you assess whether the underlying dynamics have truly changed or if you might be setting yourselves up for the same challenges again.
“Talk this through together and make tangible agreements about the key areas of conflict such as time together, finances or whatever these things were about with specific goals that you can measure to track progress and share accountability.”
Assess Attachment Styles
As well as this, recognising your attachment styles before rekindling with an ex is also vital.
Kate asks: “Are you both secure, or is one of you anxious or avoidant? These styles influence how you connect and communicate.
“Understanding these elements can provide insight into how compatible you are moving forward.
“If one partner is anxious and the other avoidant, for instance, this dynamic might lead to misunderstandings and frustration. Have some coaching or therapy together to learn more about this.”
Consider Love Languages
And it’s not just attachment styles exes should consider – as according to Kate, considering how love languages play a significant role in relationship satisfaction is also equally as crucial.
“If your primary ways of expressing and receiving love differ, it could create friction in your reunion.
If you each want very different things then accept that no amount of love is going to paper over these cracks
Kate Mansfield
“Ensure that you both understand and can accommodate each other’s love languages.
“This understanding can enhance emotional connection and prevent miscommunication,” Kate claims.
Establish Clear Boundaries
In addition to this, before letting your guard down and entering into another relationship with a past lover, Kate recognises the importance of setting clear boundaries right from the start.
She recommends: “Discuss each other’s expectations and what you need from one another moving forward.
“Boundaries foster a sense of safety and respect, reducing the likelihood of repeating past mistakes.Get clear with yourself first about your life goals, values and priorities.
“If you each want very different things then accept that no amount of love is going to paper over these cracks.”
Kate believes that Harriett should ask herself if she’s ready to navigate those ups and downs again[/caption]
She also questioned “If Ronnie and Harriett had issues before, what’s changed?”[/caption]
