Marlee Matlin has the word “perseverance” tattooed on her left wrist. On her right, “warrior.” They perfectly sum up the life and career of the talented actress — deaf since the age of 18 months — and courageous advocate. “I look at them often,” she says in a moving scene from the documentary Marlee Matlin: Not Alone Anymore, produced and directed by Shoshannah Stern, who is also deaf.
Matlin, 59, has defied the critics. Coverage of her standout first role in 1986’s Children of a Lesser God ranged from clueless (one reviewer spoke of her “silent world” as “strange and frightening”) to cruel (her Oscar nod was “wasted”). “I’m very loud,” she asserts in the doc. “And within myself, my mind is never silent.” She was written off as an actress who won because of a sympathy vote and would never work again. Even from the deaf community, she faced backlash after presenting at the next Academy Awards, where she chose to speak the names of the nominees without also signing them.
In the face of all the negative noise, family has kept Matlin strong. By her side for more than three decades: hearing husband Kevin Grandalski, a policeman and “wonderful guy.” They have two sons and two daughters in their 20s, plus a 13-month-old granddaughter. “I just really am the luckiest woman on earth,” she says with a smile.
Marlee Matlin Was ‘Afraid’ of Accepting Oscar From Boyfriend William Hurt
The luminous Matlin sat down exclusively with Us Weekly to discuss just a few of her highs and lows.
A Dangerous Habit
Her “rebellious” phase began at 15: “I was into drugs and boys,” Matlin says in the doc. By her 20s, she was struggling and ready to commit to treatment at what was then known as the Betty Ford Center. “I used up everything I had in my bedroom — my coke, my pot… The next day I got sober and I flew there.”
“I fought to convince them to pay for an interpreter. They said no, I had to. It was a lot of money, but I refused to give up because I knew I needed help. I needed rehab. [She got sober January 10, 1987.] I’m simply taking it one day at a time, as we say. That’s how it works for me. I think a lot about it. I talk a lot about it. I just do my thing.”
The Pain of Love
Matlin met her Children of a Lesser God costar, the late William Hurt, when she was 19 and he was 35. They became a couple, and “the love was deeply intense.” Their fights turned physical — her interpreter, Jack Jason, remembers hearing her screaming and furniture being thrown around — and the conflicts “evolved into a habit of abuse,” she says.
“I didn’t know any better at the time. I didn’t know there was such a word [as] ‘domestic violence,’ or ‘drug addict,’ or something called ‘rehab,’ where you could get sober. I was so young. I didn’t have the opportunity to overhear things like people who can hear can, [so] I wasn’t able to learn and maneuver through this life. I had to do it all on my own.” That’s one of the big things this documentary talks about, language deprivation.
“[When I won my Oscar], there were a lot of things happening simultaneously — being afraid of Bill, knowing he wasn’t happy for me. If I could speak to my younger self, I would say to just go with that moment and embrace every feeling, every bit of applause.”
Happy Days
Henry Winkler attended a play at Matlin’s school when she was 12, kicking off an unlikely, delightful friendship that has spanned 40 years. After she broke up with Hurt post-rehab, she lived with the Winklers for two years. “That family took me in as if I were one of their own,” she recalls. They also hosted her 1993 wedding!
“He’s authentic, transparent, no BS. He’s been like a father figure to me, and a mentor as well. I cherish our friendship. Whenever I ask for advice, he gives it right away, but [it’s] always been to believe in yourself. It’s hard, but he’s there to support you all the way.”
Full-Circle Triumph
For the 2021 indie dramedy CODA, the studio wanted an A-list actor to play her husband. Ultimatum time: “I had the balls, or the boobs, to say that if they hired hearing to play deaf, I was out.” She got her way, and in 2022, Troy Kotsur took home an Academy Award.
Meryl Streep: The Oscar Winner Through the Years
“Troy is a wonderful guy, one of the funniest, most talented actors I know. When I saw the script, I immediately thought of him. I mean, I screamed his name. It took a long time to get another deaf actor to win an Oscar. Too long, but it happened. And I couldn’t be happier for it.”
Marlee Matlin: Not Alone Anymore hits theaters on Saturday, June 20.
