The Apothecary Diaries uses a lot of subtle symbolism as its main plot devices. This seems to work for the series better as it helps the show to keep its whimsical charm intact, without taking away from its substance.
Especially since the show touches on a lot of dark themes that would otherwise be hard to stomach without the touch of subtle aestheticism sandwiching it properly. Even so, one specific aspect of the show has concerned fans for a long time.
That is, the protagonist Maomao’s fascination with poison and the lengths she goes to satisfy that fascination. Moreover, fans also wonder if she uses the self-experimentations as a guise for self harm in The Apothecary Diaries.
Does Maomao use self-experimentations as a trauma response in The Apothecary Diaries?
The Apothecary Diaries fans growing concerned about Maomao’s penchant for self-testing for poisons and medicines isn’t entirely out of the blue. Especially as she harbors scars to the point of having to keep her left hand bandaged to not attract attention to it.
What has seemingly increased their anxiety is a flashback from Season 1 showed her giving herself a snakebite to test for an anti-venom. Not to mention a specific scene from The Apothecary Diaries Season 1 also portrayed her asking Jinshi to poison her if she ever was subjected to the death sentence for any reason.
All of this combined inevitably makes people question whether she uses herself as a test-subject as a guise for self-harm to cope with her traumatic past. Something, even she might not be fully aware of as the series has shown that she isn’t quite in tune with her emotions.
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In fact, the other characters in the series, too, have shown similar concerns to the point of Jinshi barring her from doing anything drastic like that by now. The answer to these questions, though, seems to lie in that flashback scene mentioned at first.
Fans can remember that during the snakebite scene, her adoptive father Luomen, who is a doctor himself, could be seen calling her a “mad scientist”. That seems to be precisely the case with her.
Just like a mad scientist, who would go to any lengths to succeed in their research, she goes to any lengths to succeed in medicine making. However, she is self-aware enough to not subject others to her methods.
As although she tries to come off as aloof, she genuinely cares about people. Hence, her unquenchable desire to create medicines, and poisons being her drug of choice often results in her experimenting on herself to perfect her art.
A reflection of this very thought process was seen after her final confrontation with Sui Rei, the one who was behind the assassination attempt on Jinshi.
Much like the entire Royal force, she, too, is in search of the wanted criminal. However, not to make her pay for her crimes but to learn the secret method of the resurrection drug from her by any means.
Moreover, she has stated many times that she intends to live a full life and enjoy life’s pleasures while continuing to make medicines. As such it would be safe to say that her self-experimentations aren’t exactly a way to cope with her trauma.
The Apothecary Diaries often guises Maomao’s traumatic past through her antics
As stated above, many people wonder whether her behavior regarding poison might be hiding a darker truth about her personality in The Apothecary Diaries. Especially since she endured such severe trauma from a very young age.
For example, just after she was born, her mother mu*ilated her finger as a means to curse her absent father Lakan, who was away on business unaware of her very existence.
Moreover, growing up in a brothel couldn’t have been easy either. Although her sisters, who are more mother figures in her life, shielded her from the worst of it, she got to see fate playing cruel pranks on them all the same.
Not to mention she had been well aware of the cruelties a life in such a place can bring to a helpless, young girl like her. Something she is still haunted by and copes with by drawing freckles on her face to appear ugly by the beauty standards of that time.
Although things seem to be looking up for her for now, the rear palace isn’t much different to the pleasure district. As a result, she continues to be reminded of the horrors of her past quite often. She has adopted an indifferent persona to appear as unaffected by life’s troubles as possible.
In any case, it is no wonder that some fans wonder if the injuries from her self-testing of poisons and medicines is another way for her to cope. As stated above, though, the evidence from The Apothecary Diaries suggests that she isn’t available doing the self-testing as a guise for self-harm by any means.
The Apothecary Diaries is streaming on Crunchyroll.
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