IT may seem like the perfect road to freedom – living in a camper van and travelling the world without any of the constraints of conventional life.
Van life is certainly enjoying a boom with more and more people opting to quit the 9-5 rat race, sell up their belongings, and hit the road.
The Netflix documentary American Murder: Gabby Petito tells the story of 22-year-old van life blogger Gabby and her fiancé Brian Laundrie[/caption]
Police pulled the couple over after reports of domestic abuse[/caption]
Brian murdered Gabby before ending his own life[/caption]
And, of course, many of them are choosing to document their journeys online with van life influencers making a career out of their nomadic lifestyles on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube.
But while van life, as documented by influencers, may look romantic and idyllic there are harsh realities behind the off-grid lifestyle.
The Netflix documentary, American Murder: Gabby Petito, tells the story of 22-year-old van life blogger Gabby and her fiancé Brian Laundrie’s life on the road.
To her thousands of social media followers Gabby and Brian appeared to be living their dream, travelling across America in their van.
But behind the scenes the stresses of van life were taking their toll and police even pulled the couple over after reports of a domestic violence incident in the street.
Controlling Brian eventually murdered Gabby, dumped her body and fled back home before taking his own life.
And. in 2021, another van life couple’s dream ended in murder when 22-year-old Emily Ferlazzo’s body was found in Vermont after being reported missing by her family.
Her husband Joseph later admitted to killing her after a row in their camper van.
He was convicted of her murder in December last year and faces at least 35 years in prison.
The intensity of travelling alone and isolation from family can play into the hands of a controlling partner, and worsen domestic abuse, one charity has warned.
22-year-old Emily Ferlazzo’s body was found in Vermont after being reported missing by her family[/caption]
In October, Women’s Aid teamed up with LadBible and Merman to create the film ‘Van Wife’ to help people spot the signs of coercive controlling behaviour.
The film follows a young couple, Liv and Jack, heading off on a van life adventure, documenting their journey on social media.
To the outside world, they seem to be living the dream. But behind the picture-perfect facade, a darker reality is unfolding.
He controls the finances, her phone, her passport. He isolates her from her friends, shames her about what she eats and dictates her appearance.
Chynna Deese was travelling with Lucas Fowler through Canada in their camper van[/caption]
The couple were shot dead and their bodies dumped on the side of the road[/caption]
The loved-up couple are caught in a final cctv image before the murders[/caption]
His criticisms, initially disguised as concern, escalate into emotional, verbal and physical abuse.
Throughout the film, you see the gradual erosion of her confidence and independence.
Eventually, Liv bravely escapes her abusive partner at the ferry terminal where she’s met by a male friend who knew something wasn’t right and came to support her.
Stranger danger
As well as domestic abuse, travellers can be vulnerable to attacks from strangers.
In 2019, American Chynna Deese and her Australian boyfriend Lucas Fowler were found shot dead next to their camper van in Canada.
The couple had been enjoying a three-week road trip when they were brutally murdered in what police believe was a botched robbery.
Their suspected killers, teenagers Kam McLeod, 19, and Bryer Schmegelsky, 18, were found dead in the wilderness after a huge manhunt – having taken their own lives.
And just last year 72-year-old Gary Weaver died and his wife Mary, 71, was left in a critical condition in a double stabbing after parking their RV at a rest stop in Nebraska.
Their alleged attacker, James Thompson, 22, was attempting to steal a Jeep that was hitched to the van.
Solo safety fears
While being cooped up in a van can be a pressure cooking for domestic abuse, travelling solo also brings a whole new set of dangers.
Last summer a 60-year-old French woman was found brutally murdered in her camper van in Spain.
The solo traveller had been stabbed to death.
In the Van Life UK Facebook group one woman posted that she had given up her travels due to some bad experiences.
The anonymous member posted last July: “I’m a solo female and have taken a step back from van life, at least for now. I chose this lifestyle after finding myself in a vulnerable position.
“While being houseless allowed me to enjoy freedom and learn some valuable off-grid living skills whilst travelling the UK, it unfortunately attracted some unsavoury characters that forced things to come to a halt.
“The popularity of this lifestyle is on the rise, which is great, but it also means it can attract the wrong crowd. As a solo female, particularly without a dog, it’s crucial to prioritise safety.
Be cautious about sharing your location both online and offline, especially if you are a streamer, as some people may try to pry for your whereabouts
Anonymous poster
“Always be vigilant, keep your doors locked invest in a safety keyring set or other self-defence gadgets and choose established campsites over dark and empty lay-bys.
“Keep a spare power bank in the glove box and be cautious about sharing your location both online and offline, especially if you are a streamer, as some people may try to pry for your whereabouts.
“Above all, I hope everyone has a fantastic summer filled with adventure and empowerment while staying safe and vigilant.”
Lucy Ruthnum has been solo travelling for 10 years and runs Solo Adventure Gals, a community for solo female travellers and van lifers.
And while she loves van life, she says women have to take extra precautions during life on the road.
She says: “Particularly as a woman there are a lot more things to consider.
“I haven’t really ever had any majorly negative experiences of solo van life but I wonder if that is actually because I have been very thoughtful about how I’ve approached it.
Helen Laing warned how van life can put couples under pressure[/caption]
“So there are certain things I will do if I am looking at where I am going to be parked up, maybe going to campsites or doing a lot of research if I am doing free park ups in places.
“There have been some times where I have found a nice nature park up but if I am not feeling particularly comfortable I will move on. It is a lot about trusting your gut and seeing who is around.
“Because I am a woman by myself people will come and approach me a bit more, which can make me feel a more uncomfortable on campsites than when I have just parked up in nature.
“There a lot of things you have to consider, and it is not specific to van life, it is something as a woman travelling by yourself you are constantly aware of and have to adapt the way you do things.
“If you are in a van where do you park up? Where do you fill your water? Do you want to mix with other people? Are you going to feel safe and comfortable?
“But a lot of the time I find that van owners really tend to look out for each other, particularly if you are a woman travelling in your own. So if you do have someone is bothering you, people will try to intervene and help you out.”
Spotting abuse
The charity Refuge has created some advice on how to spot signs of coercive control .
First and foremost, coercive control is a form of domestic abuse. We can support you if your abuser is perpetrating this abuse. You are not alone.
Coercive control is an act, or a pattern of acts, of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation that abusers use to harm, punish or frighten survivors. It doesn’t relate to a single incident – it is a purposeful pattern of behaviour.
Controlling or coercive behaviour within an intimate or familial relationship is a crime and perpetrators can be prosecuted.
Spotting the signs
It can be tricky to spot coercive control so we’ve pulled together a list of questions to help you spot the signs:
- Does your partner/abuser isolate you from your friends and family?
- Does your partner/abuser stop you from fulfilling your basic needs i.e. having food, water and shelter?
- Does your partner/abuser monitor how you spend your time?
- Does your partner/abuser keep tracks of what you do online?
- Does your partner/abuser control when you sleep, where you go, who you see and what you wear?
- Does your partner/abuser consistently put you down and tell you you’re worthless?
- Does your partner/abuser force you to be involved in criminal activities?
- Does your partner/abuser have control over your finances? Do they only allow you a small allowance that they control?
- Has your partner/abuser threatened to hurt or kill you?
- Has your partner/abuser threatened to hurt or kill your child or children?
- Has your partner/abuser threatened to publish or share your private information? This also includes outing you.
- Has your partner/abuser prevented you from accessing transport or work?
- Has your partner/abuser assaulted or raped you?
Helen Laing lives in her van full-time and is the founder of vanlifehub.co.uk giving other van lifers tips.
And although she says she has always felt safe she says there are sensible precautions everyone should take when living in a van.
Couple pressure
“I am a big advocate for van life and can honestly say that I have never felt scared at all, but I am nicely naive, and I have a pretty high fear threshold – so that helps,” she explains.
“People often ask me if I’m scared, and it makes me wonder what people think happens outside at night? To be honest, most of the time it’s quieter and safer than in the daytime. However, I do understand that most people feel safer in familiar surroundings.
“Over the last few years, van life has changed from being mainly a lifestyle choice of adventure, to one of necessity for many. With that comes different challenges.
“If another van lifer introduces themselves to me, I won’t share much information about myself or my van until I feel like I have the measure of them – but that’s probably the same as someone who lives in a row of terraced houses.
“Just because someone knocks on your door and says they live in the same street, it doesn’t always mean that they are safe to let into your home!”
And Helen says that it is important for couples embracing van life to retain their independence as living in such a small place can create pressures.
She explains: “In terms of loneliness, I try to stay somewhere for a little while and become part of the community somehow. This might mean joining a co-work space, working from the library, joining a gym or a yoga studio, etc.
Tia built and customised a van a year ago[/caption]
Tia said she’s experienced a few intimidating moments as a solo female traveller[/caption]
The experiences have made her bring other people along for extra security[/caption]
“It’s good to become familiar somewhere and have people recognise you. I travel solo, but even if I was in a couple, I’d still do these things – you need to keep your independence when you live in such a small space.
“This seemed to be an issue in the horrible Gabby Petito story. It’s also important to make sure you understand all aspects of your van individually – so you don’t feel like you absolutely depend on your partner.”
Tia (@tiasvanlife) built and customised her own van a year ago and hasn’t looked back. But although she enjoys the freedom and adventure van life brings, she admits it does have its challenges.
“There have been a few moments that made me rethink my safety. One of the most unsettling was when I was building my van—an intimidating man approached me, blocked my exit, and questioned what I was doing.
“I thought on my feet and said I was live on TikTok and he quickly left. I’ve also had people beep at me while driving by and received uncomfortable messages from social media followers about what they’d do if they saw me in my van.
“These experiences have made me much more aware of my safety, and now, with a larger following, I often bring someone along for extra security.”
